Love the Impossible
by Hugs6
Summary: How do you handle someone as horrible as Octavian being back from the dead? How do you handle living with nightmares after narrowly escaping the underworld? How do you handle falling in love with someone you thought you hated? Especially when love is supposed to be... Impossible. (Octachel)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! This is my new Octachel Collab with silverhuntresses. This is a cool story because I have an Octavian twitter page and she has a Rachel one and then we were rping them dating and its super cute and she mentioned that she was writing fanfic and wanted to use the last name that I had a contest to decide for him and so later I asked her fanfic user name and we found out that it was each other and we had mini heart attacks because its just so cool so now we're writing a collab.**

 **She wrote this chapter**

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 **Rachel's POV:**

You know that, sometimes, when you go to bed, you can be staring at the ceiling for hours and hours (or what you think are hours) straight without feeling tired and not going to sleep?  
When you want to go to sleep, even when you get attacked by nightmares that, somehow, can turned into reality?  
When you want slumber, yet the only thing you managed to do is get up from bed and try every single trick to get yourself to sleep?  
When you tried warm milk with honey, a good, yet, heavy philosophical book, counting sheep and stuff, and nothing?  
That was my night so far.  
You know, I thought that the point of being an Oracle with no Spirit inside of me was gonna work in my favor.  
No more demonic prophecies.  
No more cryptic messages on my paintings.  
No more waking up in the middle of the night because of a warning.  
Oh, I was so naïve...  
Not able to handle it anymore, I got up from bed, covered myself with a heavy jacket and put on my Uggs before walking out of my cave. That was one of the many benefits/disadvantages of living in a cave, away from the rest of the camp: things weren't near when you needed them.  
I had to walk a portion (even if it small) of the woods, where are living monsters there. Campers say I can walk around there safe because I don't smell like demigod. But I never took my chances. I've been sneaking out from the armory hundreds of little daggers and knives that I hide in my clothes, so I never forget it. I guess I owe the Hermes' cabin a thank you for covering-  
Snap!  
I quickly turned around, from where I think the sound came from. Nothing was there. Weird...  
Snap!  
I turned to my other side and, this time, I caught a silhouette of a monster. A hellhound, to be precise. But, he wasn't looking for me. His target was yards away from him and me, which lead me into two hypothesis:  
1) Monsters do chase each other.  
2) A stupid demigod is out in the woods at midnight and he or she is an easy target.  
Not wanting to risk option number 2, I followed the hellhound as silently as I could, courtesy of some Hermes' girls, who taught me to walk like this. Everytime the hellhound stopped, I did too. Soon, we were in the deeps of the woods and the noises became more loud.  
"Get away from me, monster!" I perked up. It was the voice of a boy. By the sound of it, he wasn't older than fifteen. He was probably changing his voice... I couldn't see him yet, because I saw that not only the hellhound I followed was attracted to this place, but 2 more. The boy was with his face on the floor, trying to get up, but failing miserably. All I could see in the dark was his blonde hair.  
I almost didn't think it. I pulled out a knife from my pocket and threw it to the first hellhound on the way. Luckily for me, the edge that touched the monster was the blade, so it disintegrated in a million golden dust particles. Unluckily for me, the other two hellhounds changed their attention from the boy to me.  
"Oh, dam..." I cursed under my breath, before sprinting away from the place. I could feel how the hellhounds were chasing me. I pulled out another dagger, from my shorts this time, and hid behind a tree, waiting for them to pass me. As soon as I saw the first one, I stabbed it on the side, reducing him also into dust. I quickly climbed the tree I was hidden in and waited patiently for the remain hellhound to appear. I could hear his low growling, while he was pacing around, looking for me.  
When the hellhound placed right next to my tree, I closed my eyes, prayed to the god/goddess of foolish thoughts, and jumped from the tree and landed on the hellhound's back. Once I was on him, he tried to get rid of me, just like a bull when he's on a rodeo. He was close to knock me off several times, but on my first chance, I stabbed him. He disappeared and I was dropped to the floor.  
"Ow..." I complained to myself. Checking I didn't have injuries, I got up and dusted off my clothes before walking to were the guy was. I can't believe I almost forget about him!  
When I got there, he was up and leaning against a tree. He was tall and all his body seemed to be skinny. Like I said before, he was blonde, which means that he could be a son of Athena or Apollo. His back was facing me, but I distinguished some white cloth wrapped around his chest. Roman... By the way he couldn't defend himself, I'd dare to say a guy in probatio.  
"I know you're staring" he snapped at me, not even turning around.  
"I- I just wanted to see if you were OK..." I recognized. Then, I remembered something "And get my knife back"  
"Finders keepers, greek" he spatted the last part, as an insult. But what threw me off was that he had my knife.  
"Who you think you are?!" I yelled at him. I didn't care we were in the woods, in the middle of the night. I really don't care.  
"Someone who could had defeated those monsters alone!" he glanced at me. My curiosity took the best of me, but I still wasn't seen his face.  
"Sure... Because, being half pass out is a great strategy..." I rolled my eyes, sarcastically. Suddenly, I was been pinned on a tree, a hand on my throat.  
But, what shocked me the most was the face of my attacker.  
A face I thought I'd never see again.  
Octavian.


	2. Chapter 2

**Octavian is the kind of boyfriend who would compliment you randomly and never focus on just you outward appearance.**

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 **Octavian's POV:**

My hands are shaking. I step back and the knife falls through my fingers. She swipes it up and points it at me.

"How are you here?!" She hisses. Her eyes are crazy in the night, like she's mad at me. Crazy, but still pretty.

"You died. People saw you die!" I wipe hair out of my eyes and take a step back, falling to the ground.

"I didn't ask to be here Oracle! I didn't ask to appear in the middle of these stupid woods in your stupid camp! I was just trying to escape... Unless this is some twisted part of the underworld... Unless I'm still there..." I mutter nervously. It must be. I didn't really escape this is just more punishment...

"This isn't the Underworld. How did you escape?"

"I don't know..." I'm scared but I try not to show it. nope nope not working I'm sure I look like a pathetic little kid. My hair falls in my eyes again and I brush it away with my right arm. As I brush my hair back with my finger's I notice a new wound on my arm. The Hell hounds. No one is supposed to escape the underworld, Greek, Roman, Mortal, all are bound to death. How'd I do it? The hell hounds came after me shortly after I escaped. I don't know how or why I ended up here its the last place on earth I want to be. Well, its better than the Underworld. But then so is everything, even math class or Reyna's lectures. My arm is bleeding and it isn't going to stop. I wonder if I can die again. I don't want to risk it. I'm not stupid, I need help. I scowl.

I don't like Rachel. I don't like that Camp Half Blood has an oracle and Camp Jupiter doesn't. I don't like being here although I can't exactly go back to Camp Jupiter. I'd probably be branded a traitor, and bad things happen to Roman traitors. But right now I had to put those thoughts behind me as well as my dislike of the oracle. I needed help.

"Rachel will you help me." I mutter. I'm not going to beg on my knees or anything that's just not my style. But if I have to I'll ask for help.

"What was that?" She asked and I was unsure if she was being sarcastic.

"Please help me before my arm bleeds out." I say glancing around the woods hoping that the hell hounds didn't come back.

"Fine because you said please but you are leaving tomorrow and don't you DARE try to pull a stunt like that knife to my throat again." I followed her. She keeps glancing around, but I guess I'm glancing around nervously too. If I won't be accepted at Camp Jupiter than I definitely won't be accepted here. Leaving is a more than welcome idea. We get to her cave (why does she have a cave) and she bandages my arm. She seems so annoyed with me. Well, the feeling is mutual. I see something on her bedside table and grab it.

"You're searching for the sibylline books?!"

"Hey don't touch my things its none of your business!"

"I've wanted to go on a quest for those books since I was a kid! Ever since I learned about them... How... How..."

"Well the Spirit of Delphi is dead and there is really no other reason for an Oracle to exist so I was going to look for them."

"I want to help."

"No. You're dead remember? No one else at camp is ever going to find out you escaped because in the morning you're disappearing. Go live in Alaska, I hear its a land beyond the gods. Maybe you'll be safe there maybe not I don't care as long as you're far from here."

"The sibylline books are my dream my passion I could help." Greek or not I wanted to get my hands on those books. Even if I was a nothing a traitor practically a zombie, with no chance of ever having power again. I didn't care. If I had an opportunity to just look at those books, to just hold them... I would do it. Even if I had to cooperate with her.

"I said no. Tomorrow morning as soon as you're awake you're leaving. No one can know that you're alive! I helped you and you haven't even said thank you so you can definitely forget about finding those books because its never going to happen, not for you at least." She throws a blanket at me and points toward a corner. She's asleep before I am, but sleep finds me soon too.

Nightmares find me sooner. Horrible visions of the Underworld. Creatures clawing at my skin, fire burning me inside and out. Darkness that goes beyond just being dark. The darkness seems to eat at my soul and I'm dying all over again except this is worse. This is 100 times worse. I feel myself spasming on the floor of her cave but I don't think I can wake up from this bitter nightmare.

"you escaped Octavian... you will not be alive for much longer though." a bone chilling voice calls in my dream. I wake up sweating and screaming and crying. My whole body jerks with each sob. I notice how thin I am, even thinner than I was alive. It makes me feel sick. I try to stop crying, but the dream is to real and I know it won't be long until I'm back where I belong in eternal punishment.


	3. Chapter 3

**REVIEW**

 **Shew wrote this chapter and I wrote the last one.**

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 **Rachel's POV:** t would be a lie if I say that I slept like a baby the rest of the night. My sleep was light and, even though it wasn't plagued with nightmares or visions, a quarter of my subconscious was wondering what was Octavian doing outside the Underworld and how did he escape. Another quarter was wide awake, in case he decided to attack me during my sleep. Another quarter couldn't feel but sorry for him, about his lack of health, his wounds and stuff. And a very tiny part (a part I was not very proud of) was thinking how, even with all his scars and stuff, handsome he was. No, bad Rachel! You can't date! And much less... him.

'You better run, run, run, run...'  
I groaned as I heard the music from the devil. I mean, the music is great, the band is amazing. But, I'm not enjoying to listening to it at... 6:30am?! I groaned and go back to sleep. Right now, I hate to be the only person allow in this entire camp to have an electronic devise. In this case, a cellphone.  
'You better run, run, run, run...'  
Or, at least, try to sleep...  
'You better run, run, run, run...'  
'You better run, run, run, run...'  
"Urgh! Gods, I got it!" I complained, picking the dam phone and answer it, with all the annoyance and slumber I could "Hello?"  
"It was about time you answered" I held back a groan. Anything I could say can be and will be used against me in the final negotiations... "I don't understand your insistence into sleeping till late morning..."  
"Father, is..." I checked my bedstand clock to be precise "...6:40 am" And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my father, businessman Marcus Dare, greets his only daughter.  
"And you already wasted some valuable ignoring my calls and having this conversation with myself" Gods, kill me now...  
"Is there anything I can do for you, father?" I tried to approach the subject in hands, to get rid of it as soon as possible.  
"I want you in the next flight to London to be there in two days" I blinked hard, though I doubt he can see me.  
"Um, no thanks" I replied, frowning.  
"Rachel, I wasn't asking" he remembered me. I bit my lip to stop the rant of bad words I had thought for him.  
"Well, I'm not obeying" I argued back "We had a deal, remember? A deal you signed and promised to never to alterate" I reminded to him. You must think it's weird that parents and kids sign deals and stuff. Well, turns out my father only speaks two languages: deals and money. If not, it's impossible to reach him.  
"It's a special circumstance, Rachel" he took control of the conversation again "You need to go to London-"  
"I said, I'm not going!" I repeated, getting frustrated. I immediately and instinctively, covered my mouth, in case I could wake up Octavian. I had heard him screaming and crying in the middle of the night, which didn't help my case over the sentimental part of my brain "And, that's final!" I whispered/yelled the end of the decision.  
"Are you forgetting that you're still a minor and you have to do whatever I say?" I opened my eyes wide big. He was threatening me? His only daughter?  
"You wouldn't dare..." I said back, trying hard to contain my tears.  
"Pack your bags, Rachel. I'll be there for you in five hours" With that phrase, the phone call ended and I was trying really hard to contain the sobs that wanted to come out my mouth. I rushed into the bathroom, where I finally let them free. I was used to feeling useless and lonely for my father, but never in my life I felt so much like a rag doll.  
"What do I do...?" I asked myself, staring at my reflection.  
"Not talking to yourself could be an improvement" I jumped in my place. I had completely forgotten about my 'guest' in the past ten minutes.  
"Who would I be talking to? You?" I retorted, sarcastically. I know it was a harsh thing to say, but I'm suppose to hate this guy, not being his 'buddy-buddy'. He tried to kill me, for gods' sake!  
"You're right, talk to the mirror" he surprised me "That way, everyone know you're as crazy as I said" And, I take it back...  
"Whatever..." I grumbled, not in the mood. I came out of the bathroom, wiping my tears and curling up on my bed, not caring what he would do. But I couldn't not care when I heard a lot of noises coming from the bathroom. Followed them by a large screech! "What the Hades' going on there?!" I got up, forgetting my problem for a second. I flung the bathroom's door open and I saw Octavian on the floor, his arm bleeding, making a pool of blood next to him. He looked like a kid ready to pass out at the sight and his fingers were shaking.  
"N-nothing, I- I got it" he stammered. I was having none of that, especially today, so I grabbed the first aid kit and did it, again, myself. When I finished, I saw that his clothes were covered in blood spatters and his eyes were red, from crying. Just like mine.  
"Bad night sleep?" I assumed, though he kept quiet. I nodded "You can stay if you want. I'm gonna be gone in a couple of hours, anyway..." I got up, tossing the dirty stuff in a bin. I could feel him staring at me, while I walked away from him.  
Is that was I want? Getting attention? Or being seen?


	4. Chapter 4

**REVIEW**

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 **Octavian's POV:**

"Why were you crying?" The sentimental voice inside of me that I usually don't let speak asks. Inwardly I tell that voice to shut up but he/she doesn't listen.

"No reason why were YOU crying."

"You die and escape and tell me how fun that is." I retort.

"Why were you bleeding?"

"I don't know. Why were you crying?"

"I'm not going to tell you I know you don't care." Huh its weird but for some reason I do care. For some reason its majorly important to me. What is majorly important to me? Sentimental voice says anything that's important to her. But I kick Sentimental voice and it shuts up for awhile. I'm not going to mention I've been hearing voices... Sentimental voice, Hades' voice in my dream, she'd probably think I'm insane.

Maybe I am...

"No, I don't care but is it directly related to you leaving in a few hours?"

"Um... Yeah." She said.

"My dad is coming to pick me up and forcing me to go to London."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You didn't ask?" She freezes for a moment.

"You know you should probably ask. You're treating this like its some big bad thing it might just be like vacation I mean you're going to London that's kind of cool."

"You don't know my dad!" She snaps. Sentimental voice pokes angry voice and angry voice wakes up and takes over for a second.

"Yeah I don't know mine either!"

Octavian. You idiot you don't tell people about that! TELLING PEOPLE THAT IS WEAKNESS WHY WOULD THAT SLIP.

"Why don't you?"

"I was only four when I got sent to camp because my Augur abilities started showing up and my parents thought that made me a freak." WHY'RE YOU STILL TALKING YOU MORON?!

"Oh. Oh. Well... At least you had camp Jupiter." she said seeming... What's the word... Sympathetic? Shocked? Understanding? One of those three maybe all of them I dunno.

"Wow you think I had friends."

"No one could be friends with you you're too twisted." She didn't sound like she believed it though.

"They're the reason I'm twisted! I didn't want to be like this I just wanted to fit in! I just wanted to be praetor..." I mutter. Why am I telling her all of this?

"Why was that so important? You could have lived you could have changed and had friends and lived if you hadn't been so obsessed with power."

"My mom was Praetor okay? I wanted to show them I wasn't a freak loser like they thought." I turn away.

"Well you're alive now. You can find another way to prove that you're not a freak loser."

"Yeah I guess you're right. Thanks." She looked surprised. So did I, I didn't expect to thank Miss Paint on my jeans for her words of wisdom and yet here I am. I didn't know whether I would take her up on her offer to let me stick around. I looked around the cave as she told me about her dad. I listened mostly. Part of me felt bad for her. Part of me wasn't paying attention unlike the rest of me. I was distracted by a lot of things, being here, being alive, and the sibylline books.

"You should take a shower. You kind of smell like you're still dead." Rachel tells me when she's done pouring out her heart and soul. Rachel confuses me, but I'm blushing too hard to voice that opinion. I've never blushed like this before... I go shower and she tells me she'll leave clothes for me in the bathroom.

After I shower I wrap myself in a towel and wait, still no clothes.

"Rachel?"

"Sorry I have to go get some from someone my stuff won't fit you you're kind of a giraffe." I pout. Just because I'm awkwardly tall doesn't mean she has to call me a giraffe. A few minutes later as my hair starts to dry she throws in some clothes. I put on the pants and shoes but draw my line at the shirt. However I don't have time to protest, because while I get changed someone comes to get her, apparently her dad is here. I stare at the Camp Half Blood shirt. I AM NOT WEARING THAT. I chase after her.

"RACHEL I NEED A DIFFERENT SHIRT." I call. And then I freeze because I realize I"m shirtless in the middle of Camp Halfblood, completely conspicuous and exposed.

"Is that Octavian?" People whisper. I almost faint.


	5. Chapter 5

**Rachel's POV:**

Of all the people that could point out that Octavian was alive, Perseus Jackson had to be the one who noticed first.  
Of course, I didn't count on Octavian following behind me because of a stupid T-shirt! And, to make it worst, he came out shirtless, from my cave! People talk, you know?!  
"Rachel, tell me I'm sleepwalking" Percy asked me. I bit my lip. I mean, Percy is pretty oblivious. If I tell him he's sleepwalking, he'll buy it... but I can't pull that trick with the entire Camp! "This is a nightmare..."  
"Um, no" I recognized to him, grabbing the T-shirt on Octavian's hand. Well, more like I snatched it away from him "It's the only thing in your size. Now, suck it up and wear it!" I ordered him, frowning. It was bad enough he was trying to defend my father before.  
"I'm not wearing it" I groaned at his stubborness, very aware that the entire Camp had their eyes on us.  
"Well, I'm sorry, Your Highness, but we don't sell CJ shirt!" I hissed at him. He raised an eyebrow at me, probably because of the nickname "What?"  
"You're cute when you get angry" he blurted out. I blinked hard, taken by surprise, but I'm guessing he was shocked too, because he covered his mouth, turned bright red and took the T-shirt off my hand, running back to the cave. OK, that would have people talking...  
"H- How...?" Percy stammered behind me. I turned to see him, his mouth slightly open and his eyes widen like he'd seen a ghost. Or closely...  
"I don't know, I don't care" I lied at the end. But I wasn't gonna admit that "He'll leave soon"  
"Why?"  
"Because he doesn't wanna be here!" I snapped at him "Sorry" I apologized to Percy when I realized what I said "My father has me on edge" He nodded in understanding.  
"When are you coming back?" I shrugged.  
"A day, a week, a month, a year, who knows..." I admitted. I had to take the truth out of my father before leaving Camp or I'd regret it forever.  
"It's probably not that bad..." I raised an eyebrow at Percy.  
"Have you met my father?" Percy gasped, nodding "Exactly, Seaweed Brain"  
"Hey! Only Annabeth gets to call me like that!" he complained. I rolled my eyes again and headed towards the entrance of Camp to wait. Unfortunately, I didn't have to wait long. My father was walking up the Hill in less than five minutes.  
"Grab your bags" he greeted me. I sighed.  
"Wow, what a greeting!" I mocked him "No, 'Hello Rachel. Is so good to see you again. I'm truly sorry I have to cut your summer short, but we have to travel to London... I'll make it up to you sweetie'?"  
"Not in the mood for jokes, Rachel" he said, serious. I crossed my arms and stared at him "Get in the car"  
"Not until you tell me why are we going- no, correction, why I must go to London"  
"Get in the car, Rachel"  
"No"  
"Rachel, we'll miss the flight"  
"I don't care"  
"Rachel, don't test my patient"  
"Really? I wasn't being aware..."  
"Rachel-"  
"Why I need to go?"  
"Don't push it!"  
"Just tell me why!" I shouted at him "Is the least I deserve from you after ruining my summer and ignoring our deal!" I told him, completely angry.  
"Don't raise your voice at me, young lady" I snorted at that "If you wanna know why, get in the car and I'll tell you"  
I was about to nod, but the familiarity of those words made me stop on my tracks. He'd said those words before, I'm sure of it... He said them for his trip to China, Japan, New Zeland, SouthAfrica, Greece and Brazil...  
"No. I know now exactly why..." I accused him "I'm not going with you"  
"Rachel-"  
"Don't 'Rachel' me!" I scowled at him "You think I wasn't gonna realized? It's always business! You just wanna give away the impression of the happy family, but guess what, 'daddy'?" I glared at him, grabbing my bags " You don't have the perfect family because you have a daughter who doesn't want to be turned into a freaking doll!" I spatted at him. I was gonna regret it later, probably. But the fact he was pulling the stunt in front of everyone forced him to stay cool "I'll be here when you want to apologize" With those words, I walked back inside Camp, to face a lot of murmuring campers. That's it... "You better don't start murmuring or starting rumors about me or I swear to the gods I'm gonna hunt down each of you and feast you to the hellhounds!"  
You could tell I wasn't in the mood.  
Everyone quickly shut up and went back to their activities. Me, on the other hand, left my bags in Big House and headed to the woods, again. I didn't want to go back to my cave, nor I wanted to face if Octavian was gone or not. Right now, I wanted to be alone.  
Like I always am...  
Alone in my family.  
Alone in my friends.  
And, alone in love...


	6. Chapter 6

**Octavian's POV:**

I've never liked Percy Jackson. I'm probably the only person who doesn't like Percy Jackson.

Rachel likes Percy Jackson...

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I'M NOT GOING THERE SHE IS **_NOT_** CUTE WHEN SHE'S ANGRY SHE'S NOT SHE'S NOT SHE'S NOT SHE'S NOT I WILL NEVER SPEAK AGAIN.

She is so cute when she's angry...

I hate myself. I want to stop existing now thank you very much. The heat of the underworld isn't worse than the blush that refuses to leave my cheeks. I'm blushing over Rachel. Rachel. She's so... UGH! I pull on her stupid t-shirt and pace the cave for a minute. Then I leave.

Then I come back.

"What are you doing Octavian? Who ARE you? What are you doing you don't belong here you don't want to be here so why are you here." I'm talking to myself. When you're the Augur you're the camp freak. No one is your friend. People talk to you, but its usually to poke fun. So you talk to yourself. It hurts less. I have never had friends. So I talk to myself. Somethings i can just think but others I have to say out loud. So I talk to myself.

"You walked out shirtless right in front of someone you hate. You're supposed to be dead and when dead people stroll out in front of living people its kind of conspicuous. I should be dead..." I stop talking when I say that. I hadn't meant to say that. Should I be dead? I sit down in the corner where I slept last night. I need answers. I NEED ANSWERS! Tears drip down my face. I don't know when they started but I don't try to stop them. I wouldn't be caught dead crying at Camp Jupiter. But what's the point of smothering my tears now? I'm dead! At least. I should be. I died for a reason.

The reason is I was a first class jerk, I assume. Everyone always said it. That's why I died. I didn't deserve to live. I didn't deserve to have friends. I didn't deserve to escape the underworld. Death is what I deserve. Everyone always said it. But Rachel is different. Maybe I have a chance to be something other than the hated Augur with her. Maybe I have a chance to be a person. What if I got a chance to be a real person, not driven by greed or insanity? What if I was a real person for once and gave up on wanting to be the best, wanting to be the hero? Would I actually get a happy ending if I wasn't always so obsessed with being the hero?

I'll never get a happy ending. I'm already dead and I will never have a life where I'm not constantly reminded about the fact I'm supposed to be dead. I don't think I'll even get to have much of a life before I'm dragged back kicking and screaming to my new home in the underworld. That's where I belong now. Not here with Rachel. I will NEVER have a happy ending! Never! The tears fall harder. I need to leave. I don't belong here. Alaska why not the land beyond the gods. I don't need anymore gods in my life anyway. They just complicate things and my life is already complicated. Or...

I could go home. Track down my parents and show up on their doorstep. Give them Hades for what they did to me. I wouldn't be this messed up if hadn't started with their decision to dump me at Camp Jupiter, no phone calls or birthday cards or anything that remotely resembles family. I wonder how it went with Rachel's dad. If he's as horrible as she said she was. I wonder if she's okay. I can't help wondering about her. I'm in her cave surrounded by her things, so of course all my thoughts are about her. Even when I close my eyes... Its only because I'm surrounded by all her stupid stuff. That has to be it. So why do I think she's cute? Well I'm not blind! She is cute! She's very cute but that doesn't mean I like her! I don't like her I can't like her I can't I can't I won't I wont... The tears fall faster now.

Rachel is gone! She went with her dad she's not coming back maybe for months! Just leave! You don't like her and even if you do what does it matter because she will never like you in return! You will never get a happy ending you'll always be evil you'll never be the hero you'll never even be human! Just give up on having friends! Just get up on Rachel! Just LEAVE instead of moping around in this stupid camp where you can never be happy because you'll never belong!

Why does it hurt so bad? Why does it hurt to know that I'll never belong, that I'll never have friends and that I'll never be with Rachel? She knows what I did she's not just going to take me back like that. I say take me back, as if she ever liked me. I killed myself! I endangered the camps and went insane. I don't deserve anything good happening to me.

I need to get a grip and give up already. It's not happening. Its never happening. Just leave.

I steal one of her blankets, roll it up and leave. I don't make it far though. I run straight into Rachel, knocking both of us down.

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 **Octachel is my OTP**


	7. Chapter 7

**Rachel's POV:**

I decided that, not caring what happened, if I wanted to cry, I should do it on the privacy of my cave. Alone.  
I got up from my hide out in the woods and made it straight to my cave. Except with one exception: I never make it inside the cave. I collide with someone and we both fall down, one in top of the other.  
Or, in other words, Octavian fall on top of me.  
I'm sure as Hades my face is scarlet of embarrassment. This was so embarrassing! And my head hurts...  
"What are you doing here?" he asked. What? No 'Hey, are you OK'? Or, 'OMG, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there!'? Though I suspected, it is still rude that Octavian has no manners. And, besides, he doesn't look like the kind of guy who would say 'OMG'.  
"What do you mean what I'm doing here? I live here!" I answered to him, trying not to frown.  
"But, you were leaving..." Oh. That...  
"I- I had a fight with my dad" I admitted, gritting my teeth. I wasn't gonna cry again. And, much less, in front of him. And, even lesser, in this position. Speaking of positions... "Can you get up? You're kind of heavy..." I mocked him in the end. He glared at me, but got up. When it was my turn, he didn't allow me to get up. He simply grabbed my wrist and pulled my up.  
We fall again. This time, I was on top of him.  
"Oof!" he complained, when I was on top of him "Gods, could you be more light?"  
"Are you calling me 'fat'?!" I know I reacted wrong, but I couldn't help it. You just can't call a girl fat and get away with it!  
"I said you were light! Where on Earth did you got that idea?!" he fired at me. I opened my mouth to protest, but I decided to shut it and got up from him. While I shrugged my clothes, he got up. He grabbed a towel and fold it in his hands.  
"What are you doing?" I glanced at him, not wanting to point out he was wearing the orange T-shirt I gave him.  
"What does it seems that I'm doing? I'm leaving" he stated, shrugging. I looked at him, up and down, raising an eyebrow.  
"Like that?" I pointed at him and he glared again "Do you have any money? Or a place where you wanna go?"  
"I can deal without it and, if I have a place to go, why would I tell you?" Ouch, that was harsh... I was suddenly very angry at him. I wanted to cry because of the way he was treating me. I wanted to smack his head because of his rudeness. I wanted to punch the living light out of his for leaving me... Wait, what?! What the Hades was that?!  
"There's not need to be rude" I mumbled, my hands curling into fists.  
"But, isn't that what you want?" I looked at him, not understanding "You want me to away from here. You. Don't. Want. Me. Here"  
My first thinking was to start crying and tell him he was wrong. That I needed him, that Camp needed him. Anything but leave.  
My second thinking was to start making him pack some bags with clothes and buy him a ticket to Alaska. Anything but stay.  
My third thought was going with him. I was sick of gods, sick of my parents, sick of my porcelain doll life.  
"But, that's what you said" That was my final reaction, looking at him. It was like he was having a battle with himself about what he wanted "You know what? Maybe, that's your problem"  
"Excuse me?"  
"You think people don't want you, so you become despicable, pushing them away. Maybe, they were trying to know you, but you felt so unwanted that you thought other way-"  
"What other way would you feel?!" he cut me, his hands shaking "When you're a four-year-old child, and the only thing you want is a friend, but you end up in a cold, marble and solitaire temple with nothing but teddy bears that, you can't pretend to have tea with, because you have to gut them out!" he snapped at me, scaring me in a way no one had ever made me feel "Because, you all you get to do is work, work and work, because you want to impress your parents and for them to even respect you..."  
"I got it" I stopped him. I didn't want to hear another word or I was gonna broke down in tears, again "You're the victim in all this, don't you? Guess what, Sherlock? You're not alone in the crusade" I said, sarcastically, and sat on my little couch "Some of us don't deserve love, even when we think we do. Some of us don't deserve love even if we work of it. Some of us deserve to be alone, forever..." In all the time I was talking Octavian was staring at me. In silence. I couldn't handle it "You're not the only one who wants a little of love. We all want it"  
"Love is for the fools. Love makes you weak" A tear rolled down my cheek and faced him, with all the anger I could muster.  
"Then, I guess I'm a fool and a weak" I agreed with him "What about you? Not loving made you weak and a fool too?" He kept mouth shut, but it didn't matter anymore. I was upset and the day just kept piling up stuff against me. I got up and, not really caring what he was gonna do, I launched on my bed and started to cry again.

* * *

 **Question for self proclaimed number 1 fan Lizzy Dane...**

 **What is a writer of olympus. It sounds intriguing.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Octavian's POV:**

Octavian Alexander is a jerk. Octavian Alexander has no heart. Octavian Alexander doesn't feel things. I've heard all of these things before. But if you believe them you clearly do not know how strongly I feel about crying. Specifically other people crying. Even more specifically me making other people crying. I hate making people cry! It freaks me out! Part of me wants to cry too. Her words are like bullets and she did not miss her target. She was right about me pushing people away, but I'm not going to tell her that. I just need to figure out a way to stop her tears.

"Rachel? Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Do you need anything? I'll do anything just please stop crying." She sobs and I slump against the ground. It hurts that she's crying. More than it hurt whenever anyone else cried because of me. If her words are bullets her tears are acid rain. It hurts so much to hear her cry that I start to cry myself. I have cried so much, too much today. Maybe its easier in Alaska, where I _can't_ hear her sobs but... I think I'd hear them. I think her tears would haunt my dreams worse than any fire from Hades ever could. I wonder if she'd cry because I left her. The thought breaks my heart and I'm not supposed to have a heart. I don't want her to be sad because of me, and I don't know that what would make her sadder, me staying or me leaving. Tears stream down my face as I struggle to figure out the answer.

"Rachel. I"m so sorry that I was so mean. You were right you were so right. I push people away. I push good people like you away because I'm bitter and angry and think that trusting could only result in me getting hurt again. What I didn't realize until now is that pushing people away hurts them as much as it hurts me. Rachel I don't want to push you away. I don't want to hurt you. I never want to make you cry ever again. Its too heart breaking. Please Rachel. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry... Its killing me... Please forgive me Rachel. And please... Please stop crying..."

I sit down beside her bed and wait, head in my hands. I'm horrible. I'm a villain. I've never felt more like a complete jerk who deserved to die than I do now. Time seems to last forever as I pray to all the gods Greek and Roman alike that Rachel stops crying. Its the only thing that will make me feel better. The only thing that could ever make me feel better. I hope that when I pushed Rachel away I didn't push too hard. I hope that I didn't ruin everything. If I did, that's it. If I did I'm done. I'll march myself back to the Underworld and accept any punishment the give me. Life won't be worth attempting to live if I ruined everything between Rachel and I.

All I can do right now is hope and pray.

And wait.

* * *

 **Sorry it is like really short.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Rachel's POV:**

I could pretend that I wasn't listening.  
I could pretend I was sleeping, but my sobs didn't allowed it.  
I was mad at him. The way he treated everyone, not only me. The way he talked to me, like if I was such a bother. The way he felt superior and had to look down at everyone, because that was the way he was raised. The way his eyes glared at me, blue sharp and cold, all the hatred he had over the years towards him was no directed only to me and that kind of freaked me out. The way he asked me to stop crying, like if I was some guilty conscience charge that he wanted to get rid of, because he couldn't handle some tears.  
I was confused. The way his voice quivered when he apologized to me. The way he said he couldn't stand that I was mad at him. The way he begged me to stop crying. I wished I'd seen his eyes when he said that. I really wished to believe what he was saying to me. That he didn't actually wanted to hurt me.  
All my life, I've known people like Octavian. My parents, their business partners, their friends, my own friends. People that only care about their status and the status other people can offer them. Parents that made political and business deals with other friends or even outsiders about their children so, they could make alliances by marriage... Kind of like a modern royalty.  
I've had several suitors myself. I was never interested in the business my father does, so I was practically MIA during his meetings or I'd ran away on purpose. After I met Percy and the Second Titan War took place, I avoided those meetings even more, because I knew I couldn't have an escape once I set foot in there. I preferred people think I was rude and unwilling to commit to a marriage than actually explaining that I could never had kids.  
That last statement would had led people, including my own parents, to questioned me about how did I knew. Which had led them into thinking I wasn't 'pure' anymore. And, although I prefer to be cataloged as a 'lady friend' by many, I was still disgust by the term.  
Love wasn't in my script. Not from a guy, not from my parents, not from friends even. Love, as my father would say, 'was a weakness and a very elaborated charade that only after years you could master the act to show people emotions'.  
I bet Aphrodite was excited when she listened to that.  
I was thinking all that when Octavian was apologizing to me. At first, his words didn't sound sincere. He was just trying to take a weight off his shoulders. Sure, some people hate when someone else cries, which is what I saw reasonable.  
Then, he tried again. And this time, he did sound emotional.  
I looked up from my pillow, trying to sober up a little. I saw him curled up next to my bed, his knees under his face, who was hidden between them. His arms around his legs. He looked so broken that I started to feel bad for him. So, I got up and wiped my eyes clean before getting down with him and placing my hand over his knee.  
That made him look up.  
"I wasn't right" I didn't know how to start, but I figured that an apology "I understand why you are like that. If I was pushed around like that all the time, I'd react the same way" I explained, looking ahead "Actually, no. That's how I want to react" I admitted, chuckling a little. I didn't know if he was looking at me or not, but at the moment, I didn't care "I guess that people are afraid of us... Of what we can do..." I played with my hands, unsure "When people doesn't understand how this works, we end up looking like the bad, weird, freaks and stuff..." I breathed out, trying to calm down "What I'm trying to say is that I understand your reaction and from where it comes... But that doesn't give you the right to treat me like that" I stated, still not looking at him "If you feel that Alaska is your only option, your only solution, then I won't stop you. Go, make a life. But if not... I suggest you that you try to be polite and use manners with people" Only then, I stared at him in the eyes "Because, they might not be as understanding as me"  
His blue eyes stared back at me, not breaking contact with me. His eyes were waving between the different emotions so fast that I couldn't register them more than a few seconds. I broke the contact, feeling the heat rising to my cheeks, leaving me with a wonder:  
If love wasn't in the script... then, what am I feeling?

* * *

 **One more chapter tonight because I was gone two weeks.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Octavian's POV:**

"Can I stay? Could I actually make a home here where only one person seems to like me?"

"There are reasons people don't like you Octavian. You didn't leave a good impression on my friends, trying to blow up the camp and all." I have no defense for that. I'm shaking a little. Trembling. I was right about the sound of her sobs haunting me. There they are, louder than anything. She'd dried her eyes but I heard them. It was painful and sad. My hands shook.

"I don't know how to be a good person."

"I can tell." She teased. I ducked my head and smiled a little.

"I can get better right?"

"That's up to you. You don't want to go to Alaska."

"Not really no." The next thing that came out of my mouth surprised both of them. I really need to think before I say crazy things like this.

"There probably aren't any Rachel's in Alaska." I see a mad cute blush come to her face. I feel one in mine. Why did I say that.

"Rachel's a common name, there will be plenty of Rachel's in Alaska." She said quiet.

"Yeah maybe but they wouldn't exactly be you would they? Unless um." DON'T YOU DARE ASK HER TO COME WITH YOU OCTAVIAN ALEXANDER DON'T YOU DARE DON'T YOU DARE DON'T YOU DARE.

"Unless what?" She asked. There was this strange light in her eyes. Hope? Fear? A little bit of both at the same time? I couldn't tell. I'd never seen anything like it before. Strange, the confused part of me was overwhelmed by the part that thought that no matter what that look in her eyes was, her eyes were beautiful. And they were. They shone like sunlight. My breath stopped for a moment. Stunning.

"This is your home. You wouldn't go off to some cold country-"

"Alaska is a state not a country."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I had no idea. But my point is you wouldn't go off to some frigid place with some guy you barely know and kind of hate."

"1, I don't hate you I just wouldn't nominate you for any good behavior awards, 2, were you implying you were thinking about asking me to go to Alaska with you?"

"Maybe." I said shyly.

"Well... You're right. This is my home and you're a guy a barely know." She seemed protective. Given my history of blowing things up and gutting teddy bears, I wouldn't trust me either. I sit on her bed. I decide to tell her a story.

"Once upon a time Octavian Alexander was a young, innocent child. His parents gave him a stuffed animal which he would later name Augustus when he was old enough to be intelligible. He... Well I... I loved that thing. Never gutted it. I brought it with me to war, silly I know, but it was my favorite. It was this stuffed raccoon, cutest thing. Obviously though when I died it got lost. No way I could have kept it. It probably got burnt. Stupid story I'm aware, but I thought you could stand to know a bit more about me. I'm not going to ask you to come to Alaska with me. You're happy here. If here makes you happy then stay here and be happy, that's all I want." ITS HAPPENING AGAIN. CHEESY STUFF IS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. HELP ME HELP ME NOW I'M FREAKING OUT I'M FREAKING OUT I'M FREAKING OUT.

I'm saved from the sappiness of my own language by a loud growling sound. At first I think hell hounds. Then I realize its my stomach and I haven't technically eaten since I died. I don't want to seem dependent though I am so I don't say anything. I just stay quiet. The silence kind of weighs down on me and makes me realize how much I like the sound of her voice. It always makes me think of strength and calm and for some reason clouds, white poofy ones, but ones that could also turn vicious and stormy if they wanted to. I get all that from a single word from her lips. Her lips...

No Octavian! Think of food think of hunger think of anything except Rachel Dare anything at all!

I think if you like someone you're supposed to tell them. Tell them first before you kiss them. No you're never going to kiss Rachel because she doesn't like you and that will just drive her away. I don't know what I'm supposed to do! I've never done Romance before!

But wait. So I like Rachel? So I actually like Rachel. And I want to kiss her. So its love. Most people call it love. I can't call it love though! Its not love its SO not love. Its not love someone tell me its not love.

Love is impossible right?

For a heartless wretch like me?

Its supposed to be impossible...

WHY CAN'T IT BE IMPOSSIBLE!

Impossibles easier... This. This is soul crushingly hard. No Alaska. No lips. No Rachel I need to get away from this... This impossible thing called Love! This impossible thing called Rachel Dare.

I've never been more scared in my life.


	11. Chapter 11

**Rachel's POV:**

When Octavian started talking again, I found myself clinging to every single of his words.  
Gods, when did I turned so cheesy?!  
As much as it pains me to admit it, I don't know him. Like, I know nothing from him. Well, knowing his name is Octavian and that he's- was the Augur of Camp Jupiter, doesn't mean I know something about him, right?  
When he sat on my bed and started to tell me the story about his little stuffed raccoon, I almost hung my mouth open. That was so sweet! Even for him! Then, I remembered something that happened right after the war...  
I was pacing around Half-Blood Hill, looking around if the Romans needed a doctor and stuff. I wasn't going to nurse anyone back into health, but I could whistled to someone of Apollo's Cabin to come a take a look. I was being helpful, considering Hazel just told me about her meeting with Apollo and Artemis, in that cursed island of them. Gods, I was so angry at Apollo! I knew he was careless, but I never knew how much! I've been an Oracle less than a year and he already lost all control over it!

I was so angry that I wasn't looking were I was stepping on. When I looked down, I saw some white and grey stripes. Frowning, I kneeled down and noticed it was some kind of teddy bear. The stuffed was all over the place, like if it was dragged around and no one saw it. I picked it up and started to put the stuffing back into it when a vision hit me: it was a blonde boy, not older than five years old. He was running around some kind of park, laughing and smiling. He stopped as soon as he saw an older couple coming his way. His whole demeanor changed radically as he turned serious and sad.  
"Here you go, son" the man handed the kid a raccoon stuffed animal. The kid took it and looked at it, curious.  
"What is this?" the kid wondered, petting the teddy, like if it was a baby rabbit.  
"You'll know it when you get older" the woman explained. Like the man, she had no emotion in her voice.  
"OK. Thank you, mother. Thank you, father"  
The scene changed radically and now, I was watching the kid inside the Temple of Jupiter, with a teenager camper. The kid looked a little bit older this time, his hair was longer, but his eyes were cold and angry. His right forearm was marked: a line of service and a harp. The teen snatched the kid's teddy and examined it before tossing it back to him.  
"What do I have to do with it?" he asked, glancing at the teddy once in a while. It was obvious to him that the teen hated the teddy.  
"You have to cut it open. Only then, you'd see the future" the teen responded, walking away from him.  
The scene changed again. This time, the kid was in his cohort room, trying to gut the teddy. But, he couldn't. Instead, he started to cry and hugged the teddy closer to him.  
"I'll never hurt you, Augustus" the kid mumbled against the teddy "You're my best friend forever"

The vision was gone same way it came, fast and silent. I hid the raccoon under my clothes and took it to my cave. It took a while, but I fixed it. It looked like he was never damaged. I also added him a little blue collar with the tag, 'Augustus'. He's been staying inside my closet ever since.  
I went back to reality when Octavian's stomach growled. I wanted to laugh, because it was funny, but I held it back.  
"Wait here, I'll bring you something to eat" I told him, while I got up from the floor and headed to a small kitchenette. Apollo, before all this mess started, decided that since I was far away from everyone, I'd be ready for any emergency. Now, it'd come so handy... I opened the fridge and started to get things out to make a couple sandwiches. Sue me, Octavian isn't the only one who's hungry. I found some cold slices of turkey, so I did turkey sandwiches. I pulled out some bread, lettuce, tomato, pickles, cheese, ham, hard-boiled egg and pepperoni. I did mine the way I liked it and I did one with everything, because I didn't know how he likes it. What if he's allergic to something? I should ask him... Wait, why am I caring how he likes it?  
"Dare!" Someone screamed my last name, making me grab the knife and ready to be use as weapon, when I realized it was just an Iris Message. And who was on the other side?  
No other than Barry 'A***' Truman, the new Augur of Camp Jupiter.  
"Holy Apollo, Truman!" I scolded him, hissing. I so hate this guy... "What the Hades you want?!"  
"I need you to come to CJ" he stated. I glared hard at him. I don't know why Reyna and Frank let this guy take over Octavian's position. The guy can barely read a book, much less an augury! Since Ella is in New Rome with Tyson looking after her, Barry pretty much does nothing, other than 'collect taxes for the Temple'. At least Octavian tried, because he wanted to be a hero! He did misinterpreted the signs, but he did actual job! Wait, why I'm defending him again?  
"Why?" I raised my eyebrow, suspicious.  
"The harpy found something" There, I told you! See?  
"No" I shook my head "You, deal with Ella. Have a nice chat" Before he had a chance to reply, I wiped the IM with my hand, asking to every single god out there to make Ella give Truman a headache. And I mean, a big one. I placed the sandwiches on a plate and walked back to see Octavian with his eyes staring his lap "Here, hope you're not allergic to anything, because it has pretty much anything" I warned him, trying to smile politely. Instead, I felt the heat rushing up to my cheeks when he saw me.  
Love is an illusion for the fools and poors.  
Love is a disease for the healthy and the sane.  
Love is a happy ever after for the ones with a bad reality.  
Looks like I want to be fool, insane and have a bad reality...


	12. Chapter 12

**Octavian's POV:**

"Who were you talking to?"

"What?"

"In the kitchen were you talking to someone?" She sighed.

"Just the new augur. He Iris Messaged me."

"New Augur? But the spirit of delphi is dead."

"He doesn't really do anything. He's 100% more annoying than you ever will be and more incompetent than a dead deer so." I took a bite of my sandwich, nodding.

"But Camp Jupiter is okay right?"

"Yeah, they're thriving."

"Good." I sighed. I don't know why I care, or why I want Camp Jupiter to be successful. It was always my home, but also at the same time it never was. People didn't except me, but I was needed. not wanted, not liked, but needed.

I'm not needed here. But maybe I'm wanted. I think I am. I think Rachel wants me here. She's so nice... But this isn't my home. I've never had a home really... Its Not my home right? Or is it? I eat the sandwich and contemplate. By the time I've decided it could be my home there is a loud knock on the door. Its sort of a knock. Rachel gets up and let a confused and unhappy Percy Jackson in. He marched over to me. Of course, I was still wearing a camp Half Blood shirt, so we matched, which was kind of infuriating and weird. Even our shorts were the same.

I never wanted to be dressed the same as Percy Jackson ever again, but since no one else noticed I kept that thought to myself. In a matter of seconds I found myself off the ground. Scum bag Percy Jackson had lifted me, effortlessly, and now held me like I was a rag doll that he was angry with. He could have gutted me like a stuffed animal, which would have been an ironic second death for me, and much too reminiscent of the scene with that ridiculous panda pillow pet he'd had once.

"You're supposed to be dead!" He yelled. He seemed so angry too. His hands shook.

"I finally thought the world was rid of scum like you! I was at peace! Life was starting to get good again! The camps are happy! And you had to come here to mess everything up!" He screamed as he shook me. I was getting dizzy.

"Percy stop it!" Rachel said, looking anxious.

"How are you still alive?! Why are you here?!" He was really really angry. I was starting to realize that Percy Jackson was a bad enemy to have.

"I did die... I escaped the underworld I don't know how and I appeared here it was an accident I would have never chosen here but..." He dropped me. I landed painfully on the ground, maybe bruised and with a headache but otherwise fine, at least my guts weren't covering the floor. He seemed almost as shaken as the person who had literally been shaken. Rachel also looked pale. He looked at her.

"Rachel it... It might be the labyrinth, It might be rebuilding itself. Its the only explanation for how he would be able to escape the Underworld and end up here." Rachel paled even more.

"The labyrinth is bad news. When he came, he was being chased by hellhounds. Monsters can get through with no problem and there ware a lot of monsters down there we don't need to tangle with again." Percy nodded, then narrowed his eyes at me.

"You're leaving. You don't belong at Camp Half Blood or Camp Jupiter."

"Yeah trust me I know. 19 years of no friends kind of clued me in on the fact that I don't fit anywhere. I'm moving to Alaska. That should be far enough from you, Jackson." I said. I don't know why the fact he shared so much with Rachel bothered me so much, but it only added fuel to the fiery hate I already felt toward him.

Rachel laid a hand on my arm.

"You don't have to." She said.

"What are you talking about? Of course he has to! He _SHOULD_ be in Eternal Punishment! If he's going to go and be alive again than he might as well be as far out of our hair as possible."

"He's not a bad person Percy-"

"He KILLED Leo!" She went silent.

"Percy's right Rachel. I don't deserve to stay. I'll miss you, but I'm going to have to go, aren't I?" Percy nodded, seeming almost smug. Rachel looked hurt and my heart broke a little more. I had to look away for a few seconds. I didn't belong here or there or Alaska. I did belong in Eternal Punishment. But I'd been so hopeful... I'd almost been happy.

I could have been happy with Rachel.

But of course, I can't, because I"m not a hero. I"m a bad guy. Its impossible for me to change.


	13. Chapter 13

**Rachel's POV:**

""Can I talk to you for a second?" I grabbed Percy's arm and pulling him away from Octavian, who was kind of sulking to himself "What was that?!"

"What was what?" he asked back, frowning and crossing his arms. I raised and eyebrow and imitated his posture, crossing my arms over my chest.

"That tough, angry and mean act that you pulled with Octavian!" I pointed over to where Octavian was seated "You needed to act like that?!"

"I really don't know what you're talking about" he defended himself. I was almost fuming at him.

"Percy, you can't force someone into leaving!" I tried to explain "You can help them take the decision, but you cannot, I repeat you cannot force people into leaving whenever you want to!"

"Have you forgotten what he tried to do to us? What he tried to do to you?!" I sighed and rubbed my nose's bridge, kind of tired of this conversation. When Percy wants to, he's more impossible to deal than Annabeth with a design in mind. Trust me, I've tried it.

"No, Percy. I haven't forgotten" I admitted, gritting my teeth.

"Then, you have agree that the best thing he can do, now that he's out of the Underworld, which I'd love to know how did he got out, is to be away from this place!"

"Just because he did one mistake? Because he thought we were gonna attack his home? Because he misunderstood one sign?" I really didn't understand the need that I have to defended him, but I was getting tired of Percy's higher attitude toward Octavian, like he wasn't at his level.

Which wasn't Percy at all.

"He didn't want to have peace! He wanted to rule us all!"

"So did Luke!" Percy's eyes widen in surprise, while my own mouth flew open in surprise. I have never argue like this with Percy, but he was forcing me into get in a lower defenses "So did Luke, and I'm pretty sure that neither you or Annabeth would doubt into welcoming with open arms, no matter that some of the campers would resource to their weapons-"

"That's a new low, Dare" he cut me. I could hear the restrain he was doing to not think about that.

"With Octavian is the same" I started, trying that he saw that from my point of view. From his point of view "He doesn't know why he's here, but he told me already about leaving to Alaska..."

"Good-"

"Let me finish" I interrupted him. He snapped his mouth shut "Octavian will leave when he feels comfortable. We, and by we I mean the entire Camp, won't rush it, do you understand?"

"Damn, Dare... You got sassier since your Dad came..." That only made me groan in frustration.

"Can you not remind me about that?" I suggested him. He raised his hands in surrender, with his characteristic smirk. Now I understand why is Annabeth unable to stay bad at him for more than a day. Kind of like me with Octavian- Don't even think about that, Dare! You're not allow to be taking sides!

"Fine, I won't talk about it" he promised. I nodded.

"Oh, and you have to apologize with Octavian for being rude" I finished the conversation. I saw his jaw hit the floor (almost) "Just about you being rude and abrupt"

"Never in a million years!" he shook his head.

"Percy, if you wanna be better person, apologize and it'll be over" I reasoned to him. He groaned and nodded, making me smirk and giving him a quick hug "See? You're not that mean..." I joked to him.

By the time I finished my talk with Percy, and decided to give Octavian the options, I noticed that his spot was empty. The sandwich he was eating was left there, half eaten. I wondered that he maybe went into the bathroom. I mean, every human being needs to go from time to time, but the door was wide open, which meant he wasn't inside.

"He's gone" Percy stated, looking outside my cave.

He's... gone.

Octavian is gone.

If any fiber of my body wanted him gone, then why they're not throwing a party?

"Oh" That was my only reply. I stared outside my cave, maybe hoping to see him run through the campers, causing commotion because why he was alive.

But no commotion, no screaming. Just a normal day at Camp Half-Blood.

"A storm is coming" Percy warned me. I nodded, knowing I wouldn't able to go outside until the storm passed. Not because the storm hit inside the Camp, that's why had the protection barrier. I could not leave the cave because I was terrified of thunderstorms. And, if the sky is that dark, it means Zeus' temper will not tune down. Percy said something between the lines of 'goodbye' and 'nothing will happen', but honestly I wasn't listening.

As soon as the first drops of water hit the barrier, the cave's temperature dropped. I began to shiver in cold, so I decided to grab the blanket that I borrowed to Octavian and wrapped it around me. For some strange reason, it smelled like sun and stuffing, a very weird combination. I headed to the kitchenette and made myself some tea, just to start passing the time, but I got bored soon.

I turned around the bed, trying to fall asleep, but I couldn't. The thunders only became louder and louder, making it impossible for me to fall asleep. So, I did the only thing left I could think of: I opened the closet and stared at Augustus, the stuffed raccoon. When Octavian said he wanted to leave, I was planning on giving it back, but he never gave me the chance to return it.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Augustus" I felt like a stupid just for talking to the raccoon, but I pulled it outside and got into bed with him in my arms.

I just hope the storm is over soon...


	14. Chapter 14

**Octavian's POV:**

I stole a I Heart NY shirt so I could get out of the Camp Half Blood one. I washed up in the bathroom. I'm paler than I remember. A little sulkier. Its that hug, that hug between her and him. That's what drove me out of the cave. She was on his side I could tell. She agreed with him. She didn't want me here. I can't blame her. I've only made her cry. Oh... The sight of her crying was heart breaking.

That's what I am right now. Heart broken. The pout on my face would hint at me being just another whiny entitled teenager. But I'm not. The pout on my face may hint at whininess but the look in my eyes... Well that spells heart break. I LOVED Rachel. I... I think I love Rachel. I'm jealous when another guy hugs her. I hate the sound of her crying, but the sound of her laugh? Well I wish I could remember that instead of her tears. The tears might be the real reason I'm leaving. I don't want to make her cry again. I don't want to hurt her.

If I stayed I could only hurt her.

I hitch hike with complete strangers. I've got a rolled up blanket and a stolen knife in my back pack. It was the knife she threw at the hell hounds the first night. That wasn't long ago. I can't believe how short of a time I actually spent with Rachel. Was it even two days? And yet I fell madly in love with her. I don't know how Rachel smells so I'm not sure if her blanket smells like her, but its not half as warm or comforting as she is. I feel really guilty from even taking those two things from her. Maybe when I'm in Alaska I'll send them back, with a postcard apology and love confession. When I get to Alaska I'm going to write her a letter and tell her I love her. She never has to see me again yet I feel she deserves to know.

When I sleep I dream of Rachel. At first it starts out okay. She's standing in Jupiter's temple at Camp Jupiter. Then she starts crying, over what I'm unsure. But it gets worse, because as she cries she begins changing, until she is nothing more than a little stuffed doll with red yarn hair, like Raggedy Ann except with Rachel's pretty features. The dream got worse and worse though. I saw myself picking up the Rachel doll, and gutting it with her knife. And the stuffing read,

"You killed her. She will never love you."

And then I woke up. We were over the state boarder. Soon they kicked me out of the car and I walked awhile. I was hungry but didn't do anything about it. No money for McDonald's, no one around to pick pocket or convince to give me money. As I walked Alaska seemed a bit more impossible with each step. How would I get there? I didn't have a passport to get over the boarder to Canada. And I wasn't going to get anywhere walking. I sighed and sat down on the side of the road, putting my hands in my head, remembering my dream.

"You killed her. She will never love you." I couldn't decide which words hurt more. I didn't really need to decide. That's why I left. So I wouldn't end up killing her. I ruin everything I touch. I guess when I left I was scared that if I got too close to Rachel, I'd ruin her too. She was the only girl I'd ever liked, the only girl I'd ever _loved_. I didn't want to hurt her, which is why my dream hurt so much. I watched cars speed by, making no effort to try to hitch hike with one of them. I needed a new plan, but first I needed to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. It hurt to have left Rachel, but if it protected her from the monster I was inside and out then I would go to the ends of the earth if I had to. I tried to convince myself that I would be fine only seeing her in the nightmares I was sure would haunt me from this day on.

I almost threw up when my brain suggested that I didn't need her. My brain had never been more wrong and my heart was quickly there to punch it and say are you stupid of course you need her she just doesn't need you. So you'll try and live without her. And if you die fine as long as she doesn't any time soon. That's basically my priority. Pray to all the gods above, Greek, Roman, whatever else there is, that Rachel stays safe, and happy. I hope that she's always happy. I hope that she laughs, and smiles, and does that cute thing where she brushes her hair out of her face. I hope that she enjoys her life. As long as she's enjoying her life, my life wherever I end up will be fine. I'll send a letter when I get to wherever. If I make it to Alaska good for me, but I doubt I will. I'm okay with that. I'm not excited for a new life, but I'm hopeful for a better one, not for me, but for her.

I just hope that Rachel will have a better life. With no reason to cry like that ever again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Rachel's POV:**

The storm didn't stop.

It was lasting like a day and a half. Like it had a hidden meaning to everyone but the creator of it.

I wasn't able to sleep all night. Not even Augustus helped me sleep. The only thing that he was achieving was making me miss Octavian even more.

Octavian.

The guy made my head and my heart spin around, like I didn't know an answer, but I knew it was just right in front of my nose. I didn't understood why he had sneaked out of my cave without even saying goodbye.

Why did that hurt me so much?

I eventually grew hungry, so I decided to leave the safety of my cave, but not without Augustus in my arms, like if he was my shield or something. Luckily, the protection field didn't allow the rain to penetrate inside Camp, so we were save of a cold or anything.

"Have you heard what happened with Natasha?" A girl from the Aphrodite cabin was talking to a girl in the Apollo cabin, Cara, who nodded en reply.

"Yeah, she saw Drew with Max behind the cabins hugging" Cara explained. Why the Hades I was eavesdropping on something that was not by buisness?

"Poor Nat... She's been crushing on Max since ever..."

"She's not the only one... Max hasn't been out of his cabin in days..."

"Poor of them... Crushing on someone in silence and then, poof? All yours illusions crushed..."

I walked away from them, thinking deeply. Some of their words hit me, like they meant something to me too. I looked down at Augustus, who was giving me his plastered smile in reply. I noticed how the teddy bear never had a scratch on him, his fur to the side. I smiled to myself at the sight of it.

"What do I have the feeling I'm slipping something through my fingers, Augustus?" I asked him, staring at his little collar. I never noticed before, but the color of the collar was the exact same color of Octavian's eyes.

Octavian..

Why I was thinking about him? He was the one he decided to leave! To leave the safety of the Camp! To leave me!

Wait, what?!

I don't think that I haven't noticed anything more clear. I missed Octavian. Heck, the guy have only been days around me, but I missed him dearly! I wanted to fight with him, I wanted him to make me cry, I wanted him to calm me and sooth me to stop me from crying.

I needed him. As cheesy and corny as it sounds, I wanted him next to me.

In short words, I was falling for him. I was falling hard and fast and I wasn't sure who was gonna stop me from that fall if he wasn't below me. Would I find a pair of arms that will greet me before I meet the ground? Or will I smash myself against the floor like a rock and break into tiny little pieces, never able to get together again? I looked down at Augustus and I had my answer.

Screw the rules, take a chance. Fight for love.

I bet my sanity that Aphrodite put that words in my head.

I rushed to the closest spot I could find with rain. I couldn't care less if my curls got wet, or if I got a cold. I didn't even thought about my fear about the thunders at the moment. I was looking for a rainbow. Rainbows not only meant I was looking forward to make an IM, but also was a sign for hope. Hope that I wasn't gonna get rejected. Hope that I was gonna fight for it and don't get crushed by it. After a few minute, I sent a silent prayer to Tyche, goddess of good luck.

"Oh, Iris, rainbow goddess, please accept my offer..." I begged to the rainbow, tossing a drachma that I had found among my clothes (Thank you, Tyche... Again!) "Show me Octavian... Um, on his way to Canada?" I hesitated in the last part, because I wasn't sure where the Hell was that guy. The air in front of me started to shimmer and the view of a lonely, cold and lost Octavian greeted me. I could already felt the tears wanting to get out. Thanks for the rain to cover them... "Octavian!" I called him. He looked around, wanting to find the origin of the noises.

When he saw me, his face passed from the shock and surprise, to happiness to end with sadness and fear.

"Rachel, what are you doing?!" he questioned me, wrapping around the blanket he stole from me. I didn't bother about that. I wanted him to listen to me.

"You need to come back-"

"No, Rachel... I don't belong in that Camp or any other Camp-"

"Don't interrupt me!" I snapped at him, getting angry at him for a second. I wanted that... He makes me feel alive "You need to come back to because, one, you can't survive on your own and-" I stopped on my tracks for a second, looking terrified.

"And, what? Be the mock of the entire place? To see you around with him..."

"I need you back!" I blurted out, the tears finally free. The rain hadn't stopped in any moment, which meant I was screaming at the IM. I saw him gasp and widen his eyes in shock "I need you to come back, because- because you make me so angry I want to pull my hair out! You make so frustrated that I want to knock some sense into you! But, I also want you back so you can help me to help you to be OK... I just want you here to tell me that I'm not going crazy, that I'm not insane for having these feelings for you..." I finally looked up from the floor to meet his blue eyes that were burying inside my own "I wanna break the rules with you... I wanna love the impossible..."


	16. Chapter 16

**Octavian's POV:**

I shuddered. Her words... There was SOMETHING about them that made me happy and sad at the same time. She needs me. She wants me. And I need and want her. A smile tugged at my face.

"Rachel-" I'm crying now too. Happy tears. Long streams of happy tears. She wants me and she needs me and I'm coming back. I'm coming home. Any other circumstances I would never call Camp Half Blood home. But if Rachel is there and she wants me to be there with her then its home. Nothing else ever could be considered home after this now that I finally know what home looks like. Since it looks like Rachel Dare I'm okay with that.

"Yeah?" She asked, staring deeply into my soul like only she can.

"I love you." I tell her through my tears.

"I'm coming home." The Iris Message ended and I began to try to undo the "progress" I'd made on my journey. Something deep inside of me told me that I was going in the right direction, and the thought of seeing Rachel again made me keep going. I was getting really tired though. I walked by the road. Sometimes I'd blank out and almost stumble in. Sometimes my eyes would open and I'd almost be blinded by headlights.

But it was always almost. I didn't get run over. And when I finally slept I dreamt of Rachel again. Instead of a rag doll she was a beautiful goddess surrounded by a pillar of light. She reached out to me and said,

"Octavian, come home to me." My dream was there and gone and a flash. When I woke I kept moving. Getting closer to her. My feet were sore, my head ached. I was tired but none of it mattered I was getting closer to my Rachel. My Rachel, before the IM I would never have been bold enough to think of her as mine. And she thought of me as hers. It was so beautiful, the thought of telling Rachel I love her to her face instead of through postage. And she would say I love you back. Maybe the me I was yesterday would have naggy fears that she would change her mind before I got there but at the moment I didn't care. The world seemed to finally have found hope.

And then I lost the hope I'd found. It was stolen from me. The suspects were hellhounds. They gave me a beating before deserting me to die. I was bloody and ripped apart, nearing camp half blood, crying out, Rachel! Rachel!

It wasn't Rachel who found me though. Some other camper did. I don't know who, when, where. I just remember blanking out, the word Rachel on my lips. And in my dream I was the rag doll, ripped apart, stuffing flung about. I blame Toy Story for my vivid nightmares. But even nightmares couldn't hurt me. As long as Rachel was alright. Of course, I couldn't be sure, because I was unconscious and unrecognizably beaten.

And I'd been so close to having hope.

To having Happily ever After.

I guess it really is impossible for people like me.

* * *

 **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!**

 **I PROMISE!** **HE'S NOT DEAD!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Rachel's POV:**

He- he loves me?!

I must be dreaming... I slapped my face, quite hard I must add, which end in a pain groan from me. Looks like I'm awake...

"I love you..."

I stared down at Augustus, still in my arms, not able to restrain the growing smile in my lips. I was totally aware that I liked him, that I cared for him a lot... But, for him to love me?

"I love you..."

Wait, I must misunderstood his words... No one would ever fall for a girl like me! I mean, I'm a handful, I can't keep my opinions to myself, I do everything that I'm told not to, I go to protests all the time and I can't behave! I'm a mess!

"I love you..."

And, besides, I'm not what you call perfect girl material... I'm short, probably 5'... I can't get a tan to save my mortal soul and I'm so skinny and freckly that people confuse me with a much younger me! My hair is a mess, all curly and frizzy and untamable...

"I love you..."

But, what if it is something like Stockholm Syndrome or something like it? That he thinks he likes me because I've been nice to him, but only to realize he doesn't...

"Urgh!" I snapped myself out of the pity trance. I couldn't be thinking like that! What if he had genuine feelings for me? What if... what if those feelings were the reason he left? I gasped, understanding everything clearer now... He left because I hugged Percy! He was jealous! I started to laugh under the rain, not caring I was catching a cold later, but I decided to get to a warmer place.

I headed back to my cave, thinking about the words I told him. It was true, he made me wanna strangle him everytime we argued and he was so infuriating that I wanted to pull my hair out. More or less like what Annabeth feels everytime she argues with Percy.. That thought made smile and feel warmer inside.

When I got to the cave, I quickly got into the shower, a smile adorning my face. I just couldn't take it off even if I wanted. When I finished my shower, I got out, and noticed some clothes in my bathroom floor. Frowning, because I didn't remember leaving clothes on the floor, I picked them up. I gasped when I saw them, because the clothes weren't mine.

They were Octavian's.

The clothes he was wearing when I found him, that night in the woods, being attacked by hellhounds. Though the moment was itself terrifying, the thought of having his clothes made me giddy inside. I looked at them, and deciding that, even with a little bit of dirt, the clothes were OK, so I put them on. The T-shirt was kind of baggy on me, and with the shorts I had to use the last hole in my belt, but I couldn't care less. Those were his clothes and they were on me. It marked me as his, right? Well, that's what all those werewolves fictions say about when a girl is wearing her guy's clothes. I wonder if Octavian minds it...

I plopped down at my bed, before jumping up again. I forgot to dry out Augustus. I quickly started to dry it with a towel (because, I might leave in a high-tech cave, but that doesn't mean I have electricity for a blowdried), leaving all his 'fur' kind of sticky or something like that.

"I love you..."

I went to sleep with a smile on my face and a dry teddy bear. I woke up the next day, very excited and very anxious. I knew that Octavian wasn't gonna appear out of the blue in less than ten hours. He also needs some time to sleep. But, I knew that he was gonna come back anytime soon. So, I started to do something I never ever thought I would do:

I actually paid attention to my apperance.

I would normally throw on some old, tattered T-shirt with doodles and paint with some comfy short, which are also doodled and painted. But, today was different. Today was an important day. I jumped out of bed and started to ransack my closet. I huffed when I noticed that all my clothes were the same: doodled and painted. It was either that or... asking clothes to cabin 10.

I shuddered at the thought of Drew borrowing me some clothes. And it made me gag the thought of Drew prying into the reasons behind my sudden 'change of heart' respecting clothes. No, not a chance! I resigned and I chose some of my best shirts and a pair of jean shorts and some sandals. I did had some of them, because Chiron never allowed me to get into Capture The Flag games, so I didn't need tattered sneakers.

I walked out of the cave, almost skipping, towards the pavilion. The rain had gone away, which only improved my good mood. I reached the tables and my arrival was greeted by a dead silence. Weird... Some guys looked at me, while some girls whispered while glancing at me. The funny thing is that they weren't smiling. Actually, they were serious. I shrugged it off, sitting down at the table where Chiron was.

"Good morning, Chiron" I greeted him, sitting down. The old centaur gave me a tight smile and nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder "What's wrong?"

"Come with me, child" I frowned, but got up and followed him towards the Infirmary. Probably, someone with a cryptic message that I need to interpret... Chiron kept quiet all the way, until he reached the door "He came during dawn. He was attacked by hellhounds..." Poor guy... "Before falling unconscious, he did mention one word..."

"Which word?" Chiron pursed his lips, like he didn't want to tell me.

"Your name" I paled at him. And only one person came to mind.

Please, not him... Anyone but him...

Chiron opened the door and my fears got confirmed.

The guy in the Infirmary was Octavian.

I didn't think it. I didn't care. I ran to his side and broke down in his chest.


	18. Chapter 18

**Octavian's POV:**

Voices swirled around me with words that I could hardly make out... Voices saying things about blood lose and head damage. And one word that stands out from the rest.

Rachel.

Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel.

Its dark and It hurts but all I can think about is Rachel. Is she here? Can I see her? I can't open my eyes but I want to see her! I wanna see her! Owwwwwww...

I just want to be with Rachel. Why can't I be with her? It hurts so bad. Its so dark and I can't even remember what Rachel looks like but I can feel her near me and I know she's amazing I just wanted to see her I just wanted to be near her why did this have to happen... Do I even deserve this? Was what I did that bad that I can't have a happily ever after?

Am I going to die without ever seeing my Rachel again?

* * *

 **So this was going to be short if I didn't copy the word** Rachel. five hundred times so... JK it was only four hundred.


	19. Chapter 19

**Rachel's POV:**

A week.

A week ago was the last time I spoke with Octavian.

I had barely eaten in the last couple of days. I was glued to the seat next to him, holding his hand and watching the kids of Apollo looking at his medical records and stuff. Well, more like Will was the only one brave enough (or willing to let the grudge go) to check him.

"Rachel?" Will shook my shoulder. I had fallen asleep on Octavian's chest. Like every other night for the past week.

"Hmm?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and getting up "Will?" I yawned in his face, making him chuckle.

"You need to eat and shower" Will told me. I shook my head.

"I don't wanna leave him, Will" I argued.

"You won't" I raised an eyebrow, curious on where he was going "There's a shower in the back of the Infirmary. Only healers use it. But I can allow you to"

"Thank you!" I sighed, relief that he wasn't pulling me away from Octavian. He handed me a new set of clothes and offered me his hand to get up.

"Follow me" he started to walk to the back. I was following him, before I remembered something. I turned around and kiss Octavian's forehead, softly.

"Don't wake up while I'm gone, OK?" I whispered in his ear, smiling. I followed Will to the shower, where he left me alone. I took a quick shower, feeling more relaxed when the water hit me. I spent several minutes remembering what had happened in the last week:

"What- what happened to him?" I sobbed, looking at the healer in charge. He kept quiet, but that only angered me even more "Answer!" The guy flinched under my tone, making me smirk inside. I can be scary if I want to.

"A couple of Hellhounds attacked him near the entrance of Camp" Hellhounds... Not again... "He lost a lot of blood and he can have some brain damage-"

"Brain damage?!" I cut him, terrified.

"He- he hit his head really hard... And, considering Octavian is one, suppose to be dead, and two, a Legacy, I don't know how he will react to the nectar and ambrosia..." My eyes wondered all over Octavian, finally noticing that the clothes he was wearing were blood stained.

"How about the stuff they use in CJ? Unicorn horn or whatever..." I quickly remembered, grabbing Octavian's hand in mine. His hand was larger than mine, even when he was thinner than me.

"I'll call, see what I can get..." the healer nodded and left me. Chiron had left me long ago and I was left alone. I couldn't help but to cry again, this time, my body was shaking of the sobs I was trying to hold. Other healers passed by and I could hear them murmur around me. I didn't want their pity. We didn't want their pity.

I was taken back from my memory by a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I called out.

"Rachel, I brought you breakfast" Will announced through the door. I nodded to myself and got out of the shower, getting dress quickly. I sent someone to pick up Octavian's clothes to wear while I wait for him to wake up. I got out, drying my hair and tying it up in a messy bun.

"Thanks, Will" I sat back next to Octavian and started to eat my breakfast, slowly. And considering this was my first meal in the past three days, if I ate any more faster, I was the one who would end up in the Infrimary, for a stomach ache. And I wasn't gonna risk that.

"Looks like this attack just began a long line of cooperation between us and the healers of the Legion" Will told me, picking up the medical history of Octavian. I couldn't help but to smile at that thought.

"You're welcome, Will" I told him, finishing up my cereal "OK, when do you think he will wake up?" I asked him, getting my hopes up a little bit.

"He's doing a good recovery, but I'm not sure how long will it take him..." Will admitted, patting my shoulder a little bit, before leaving the Infirmary. He had other patients and, as much as I wanted him to focus on Octavian, I understand other people are hurt.

"Hey..." I started to talk to Octavian once I finished my breakfast "You've been asleep for a week now... You came back, like I asked you... I started to think that it was my fault that you came back... You got attacked because I asked you too..." I wiped a tear that was escaping my eye "you know, I never got a chance to give you Augustus back... I know you didn't know it, but I should had told you when you told me the story... All I want you to wake up, so we can talk and know each other... Why did you have to come back?" I had to look down to stop my tears.

Suddenly, I felt my hand being squeeze. I gasped and smiled at him, especially when he opened his eyes and focused on me.

"I just wanted to see you..." His voice was small and really weak, but I couldn't be more happier.

"You're an idiot!" I muttered to him, hugging him tight.


	20. Chapter 20

**Octavian's POV:**

I didn't feel especially wonderful when I woke up. My mouth was incredibly dry, my head ached and I still felt just so, so... TIRED. But none of that mattered when I got to see Rachel. She asked me why I'd come and I had to tell her that I loved her and that I had been _DYING_ to see her. Of course, thank goodness that I didn't actually die...

Rachel kissed all over my face. I smiled at her but I as really tired and my brain seemed to be moving so slow everything that happened registered minutes after it happened. I fell asleep while she hugged me. When I woke up she had food for me. She helped me sit up and fed me. She didn't have to feed me I could have done it myself but she did.

I stayed in the infirmary for about a week.

I didn't talk much, but I listened while Rachel did. The sound of her voice, her life. She told me everything and I just kept smiling at her. I would take her hand when things got bad, like when she told me about her dad or Clarion Academy. I'd look at her with all the sympathy I had in my soul. Some things I understood, others I couldn't fathom. She told me about her Quest with Percy and the way she looked at ME there was no way I could ever feel jealous again. She loved me. She spent her time with me. She told me about her life. She said she loved me every single day and when she wasn't telling me she showed me. We kissed. We hugged. We smiled and laughed. When I got out of the infirmary she took me to her cave. She'd made up a bed for me, curtained off so I could have privacy.

"Why have you been so quiet?" She asked me.

"I don't know. I guess I just like listening to you." I told her. To be honest, I could barely string together sentences and force the words out of my mouth. Sometimes everything would seem so logical and put together in my brain and other times it would be like a tornado ran rampant through my brain. Sometimes I'd feel perfectly fine and other times I would have a pounding headache. I didn't tell her that. She'd spent enough time worrying over me. I'd been in a coma for a week and that's not a nice thing to do to your girlfriend. I wanted to get her something to make up for the time she spent worried, but she surprised me with something before I could.

"You left something at Camp Half Blood." She said, holding something behind her back.

"Yeah, you." I said, leaning in to kiss her. She stopped me with a laugh.

"Something _else_."

"Alright. What did I leave?" Sooner she gave whatever to me sooner I could kiss her. She pulled the something out from behind her back.

"Augustus." She said with a beam. I stared in shock and awe at my childhood toy. It looked good as new but it was OBVIOUSLY Augustus. I took it from her hands, amazed at the chance that Rachel had ended up with it, and I had ended up with Rachel.

"T-thank you."

"When you were gone it was what gave me comfort. I would hug it at night hoping you'd come back." She told me. I hugged her.

"I will never leave you again."

"Good." She told me, sitting in my lap. I couldn't do anything but smile at her. She was my life, my light, my everything, my Rachel. Even though we weren't supposed to fall in love and be happy it had happened. And only a teeny voice in the back of my head said that it wouldn't last.

I refused to listen.

So when I woke up with my head pounding and my mind in turmoil I forced myself not to say anything. She looked so peaceful sleeping in her own bed a few feet away. I got up and tucked Augustus into her arms. She looked cute holding him. I sat on my bed and cradled my head.

"You will be punished for your crimes. You will return to the underworld if I have to drag you myself." The voice in my head spoke, sounding eerily like Hades. But I refused to listen. I would not go back. Not now. Not when I'd found Happiness. I had so much left to do and left to learn. I wanted to give Rachel some big romantic gesture, but my head was too foggy and achy for me to think of anything now, so I just sat and watched her sleep.

* * *

 **Awwwwww...**


	21. Chapter 21

**Rachel's POV:**

Something was wrong with Octavian.

Since he woke up, he's been kind of... pleasing, if that's the word. He'd only listen to me, or hold me close to him or kiss me all over my face making me giggle and squirm under him or pick flowers at random to give them to me or let me sleep with Augustus in my arms.

He doesn't talk. He just stares at me, barely eating and stuff, like if he was more concern of memorizing me than about his wellbeing.

And, even for him, I found it a little bit creepy.

I guess I was acting a little weird as well, because I've never had a boyfriend before (Percy don't count and, even though I like when he gets possessive and jealous, I'm not gonna do that to him) so, I became a walking babbler.

I never realized I talk a lot.

"Ian?" I called him. He turned around, giving me a small smile "Are you OK?" He looked at me, like if I was crazy, but I swear I saw him pale for a millisecond before nodding.

"Of course I'm OK..." he replied, pulling me onto his lap and cradling me in his arms. We were passing time, watching the lake, just us. No campers. Which I'm thankful for "I'm with you..." Talking about genetic traits... I rolled my eyes, but I gave him back a smirk.

"You're turning cheesy, you know that?" I informed him, half joking, half serious. But, he played along.

"Romans do not do cheesy!" he argued with me, the smirk in his face never faltering. I started to bit my laugh back when he pulled his sleeves up and showed me his arms and biceps, like if he was a kid who was trying to impress his father or a girl... Oops! "Romans are strong! See? I'm strong, not cheesy!"

"Wow..." I played along, feeling his biceps, but it turned into genuine surprise when I actually felt them. A week ago, I'd probably only feel the bone, not muscles. But if this is what eating does to you, I'd start eating... "You really are strong..." I admitted, impress.

"I have too" I gave him a puzzled look when I looked away from his arm and into his eyes. Like always, he was staring at me, and even when I couldn't decipher what was dancing in his eyes, I noticed he was looking at me like if I was some kind of, I don't know, reverence? Maybe, worship? "Because, I don't want anyone else to protect you... Just me..."

What was my name again?

I blushed like a firetruck, probably matching my hair, but he didn't comment on it. He didn't laugh about it. He just kept staring at me, while moving a curl away from my face. Though, he wasn't staring at my face per se... More especifically, to a lower point in my face.

"Kiss me, please?" I whispered at him. He had to start a kiss someday! First kiss? My move! All the following ones? Mine, as well! Looks like this time, it'd be on him... He looked up one last time, to expect some kind of regret from my behalf, but the only thing I was thinking was how close he was from me and how idiotic he was on doubting I didn't want to be kiss.

I've only kissed one guy in my lifetime (a non returning kiss, that one was), so I'm no expert on kissing boys (especially when the whole 'Oracle' job scares them away). But when he is kissing me, I forget about those things. I forget about reality for the few seconds that the kiss last and it's only us. No one else.

I joked with him that he turned chessy, but I'm doing any better myself. Things that I never cared about, like if my clothes are clean, if my hair is too messy, or watching chick flicks, now look like a gigantic deal and I start to worry about the minimal stuff. Like if likes my jokes or if I said something to upset him when he takes long to answer or if he believes I'm not good enough for him...

That last one is the cause of many nightmares at night.

When the doofus finally placed his lips on me, I couldn't help but to smile against them. His kisses were chaste, but I didn't care, because they had love and passion written all over them. He claims it's because he doesn't know how to kiss, but I think that's the biggest lie he ever told me. Probably, he told me that so I won't feel jealous of the girls that were before me. I can't forget that he's a couple of years older than me.

Unexperienced, a dam schist...

When he leaned back, he kissed my face all over, causing me to giggle. The guy is making me giggle! This is bad...

"What was that for?" I asked him, when he leaned back completely.

"Well, I love my girlfriend... And I plan of spoiled her because I made her suffer a lot..." His eyes had a glint of regret on them, like he never wanted me to go through the fights and him running away. He was really sorry about it and wanted to prove it to me "And, because I wanted to"

"I don't need to be spoiled..."

"But, there must be something I can do for you..." I thought it for a second. I had to ask for something kind of easy, something he was able to manage, without a lot of worries.

"I have two things..." He waited for me to continue "One, I want you to leave the Infirmary and live with me" Again with the blushing firetruck... "Two, I want you take me out on a date" He stared at me for a few seconds, before his lips broke in a smile.

"Anything for my lady"

What was wrong with Octavian again?!


	22. Chapter 22

**Octavian's POV:**

I did it.

The things she wanted. I did them.

The date was harder.

I scrambled for ideas . I found myself standing in front of the only cabin who could help. Aphrodite. At this point the whole camp knew I was alive and around. Most, well, all, of the campers avoid me. That's perfectly fine. Maybe someday I'll feel more comfortable around the other campers and maybe someday they'll forgive me but for now I'm okay with being avoided. However, I needed help. I knocked.

I don't know if it was good or bad that Piper opened the door. I knew her but we hadn't exactly been friends. Rachel was the only person at camp I actually wanted to talk to and be around but I'd need to prove myself to everyone else.

"Octavian." She said, looking uncomfortable. I understood.

"I need help with a date." I told her. She relaxed a little and nodded.

"With Rachel?"

"Yeah. I've... I've never done this before." She looked at me like, "Yeah I figured." She helped me plan a date and on Thursday night Rachel had a romantic date by candlelight. We had a picnic on the beach. It was dark enough for candles but not too dark for it to be past curfew. We ate our dinner and played in the sand and just as I was about to pack up she stopped me.

"You don't talk."

"Huh?"

"You don't talk much anymore. Before you came back you talked. Now you only listen."

"I like listening to you."

"I liked the Octavian that spoke his mind instead of just saying you love me."

"But I do."

"And I love you thats why I'm worried why won't you talk?" I scrambled for a reply but my brain offered no suggestions. I couldn't explain to her that it was hard to think of things to say because sometimes my brain felt like soggy toast. I didn't want to worry her, but I clearly already was.

"When I'm around you I just want to think about you and look at you and nothing else is important."

"I can't just be the one to talk. You can talk about yourself too." She said taking my hands.

"I can't!" I blurted.

"I don't know why but since I woke up when I try to talk my brain gets scrambled and I have to force out words and sometimes my head really hurts and I didn't want to worry you." It takes five minutes or so for me to be able to say that, and a headache comes with the words. I'm panicking.

* * *

 **I feel like Silverhuntresses is carrying this story because she writes legitimately long chapters and they're all beautiful but I can only write so much because I want her to write her character's reactions instead of forcing them myself.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Rachel's POV:**

He was in pain.

He was in pain and I hadn't noticed.

When he started to panic, I grabbed his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. Apparently, that was helpful, because his eyes were more focused.

"Why didn't you say something?" I asked in the sweetest tone I could pull off. When he said he had his brain fogged and scrambled, I scolded myself for being selfish and not consider he was in some kind of problem "I get that you don't want me to worry about you... But, if we are in this relationship, we need to be honest with each other, OK?"

When he adverted his eyes, I knew that he loved me enough to keep his problems to himself and never ever give me or share his baggage.

"I know you're tired and that you're hurting, so why don't we talk in the morning, OK?" I proposed to him, trying to let him rest him mind. He didn't just nod. He leaned forward and kissed me. That's one way to talk...

"I love you so much" he whispered against my lips. If that was the only sentence he could manage for the rest of his life, I was more than OK with it.

"And I love you" I replied back, giving him one last hug before we picked up the remains of our date. We walked in silence towards the cave, earning some glances from the campers. I even noticed some smirks from Piper. Only the gods know why she was so happy...

We got into my cave and got ready to sleep. I started to use Octavian's old clothes as night gowns.

"Are those...?" I looked down at my clothes and blushed a little.

"Um, yes?" It came out as a question and not the statement I wanted. But he didn't seem to mind. He walked to me and shoved me over his shoulder, my head looking at his, well, behind and making me squeak in surprise "Octavian!" I couldn't help but to laugh about his actions. I even heard him chuckle. Yay! That worked! He place me on bed and crawled next to me, using the most tattered and old Camp T-shirt I could ever find. And, some shorts. Not giving people material so they can talk about us.

"Goodnight, love you" he kissed my forehead and tucked me on his left side, his chin over my head.

"Love you too" I repeated, meaning it every time. I pretended to fell asleep in his chest and, when I heard him breathing even, I got out of his embrace, grabbed a pair of Uggs and left the cave.

I was on a mission to save him. Or, at least, help him get better.

I got to the place I was looking for and knocked like my life depended on it. Well, almost.

"Coming, coming!" Was the reply I got. I looked around, to see if the harpies were making their rounds to be greeted by an angry son of Hades.

Nico di Angelo was no happy camper right now.

"Sorry I wake you-"

"You better have a good reason for waking me up ad this ungodly hour!" he cut me, frowning. I glared at him.

"Nico, it's not even 11 pm" I showed him my watch so he could see, effectively, that it was 10:44 pm.

"Oh" he gasped, like if that fixed his mistake "What do you want?"

"I need to talk you about something... Can I come in or is Hazel inside?" I wondered, trying not to intrude.

"Hazel is not visiting. Please, c'mon in..." he let me in, though the last part sounded so forced. I quickly wanted inside and paced around "What is so important-"

"Something is wrong with Octavian" I blurted out.

"Of course something is wrong with Octavian" Uh?! He already knew?! "He's alive when he clearly died" I frowned at him.

"That wasn't what I was talking about" I pointed out.

"Then, I don't see why are you here..."

"Do you wanna help or not?" I snapped at him. Nico raised an eyebrow, unfazed "If you don't want to, just say it"

"I don't want to" I nodded at him.

"Fine. Sorry I waste my time" I walked back to the door, bit not before I spoke my mind to him "You wanna know why I came here? I came here because I thought that you, being who you are, could help me understand what was happening to my boyfriend, why he suddenly has his brain all fogged and scrambled, why he is always staring at me like he's gonna lose me, why he had to come back from the dead to be giving a second chance in life" I ranted, nor caring if he was listening or not "I thought that, maybe, because you knew what is to be felt left aside, you could help him. Because you lived in the Underworld and he just came back and almost died, twice" I shivered at the memories "But, it's OK, be all the mean you want... I'd never expect something else from you" I finished and slammed the door behind me.

I ran back to the cave. I needed him to comfort me, so stroke my hair and let me cuddle with him. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me, no matter what.

I found him still in the same position it was when I left. I quickly crawled to his side, trying to keep the tears of anger and despair that wanted out.

"I won't fail you" I promised, when I felt his arms wrapped around me "I'll do what ever I can to help you... Forget the rest. Just you and me against the world..." I fall asleep after that, no nightmares, just plans and hopes on get him better.

And I swear on the Styx I was gonna help him...


	24. Chapter 24

**Octavian's POV:**

Oh that I could say things only got better. That the night Rachel slept with me was peaceful, restful, good.

I've never slept with anyone.

I don't know what this means. Or what it makes me. AM I STILL PURE.

Whatever that doesn't matter...

Its... Its not important.

I would really like to say that after the date that my head cleared and I got better.

* * *

The next day was one of the worst of my life. My head felt like it had exploded. I didn't want to move or talk or eat or do anything it just hurt so bad. And I was dizzy. I wasn't even sitting up and yet I was really dizzy.

I just lay there. Rachel was there, somewhere... I saw her sitting on the side of the bed, dressed in normal clothes, much more stylish than anything I owned though she had managed to make even my old things cute. She was eating a banana.

"Good morning sleepy." She said, running her fingers through my hair. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't. My head was twisted and my mouth was dry. G-good morning Rachel... The words I wanted to say. The words that lived in my head but wouldn't come out.

A frown covered her face in an instant. My heart ached to see her frowning, no no go back to being happy go back to this being a good morning baby I'm fine just please smile.

"You're hurting aren't you?" I couldn't tell her even if I wanted to. If I'd been able to speak I would have lied but only a little strangled choking sound came out. Worry painted itself across her face as she petted mine.

"I'll get you ambrosia wait they don't know if that'll work on you styx..." She kissed my forehead.

"I'm getting a medic you'll be okay." No! ITS JUST A HEADACHE I'M SURE STOP WORRYING PLEASE I JUST WANNA SEE YOU SMILE. A tear dripped from my eye. She wiped it sadly.

"I know you're hurting I promise I'll help you get better. I promise even if its the last thing I do." I wanted to yell "NO RACHEL I'M NOT CRYING BECAUSE IT HURTS I'M CRYING BECAUSE YOU'RE SAD PLEASE..." All I wanted was her to smile. The hurt was there but it didn't matter. I wanted my bubbly happy Rachel back. The weight of my problem was bringing her down and I didn't want her to make me better if making me better was the last thing she did.

I would rather die a second death than see Rachel die. She jogged off, getting a medic. I managed a groan and tried to get out of bed. I managed to end up on the floor. A start... My head screamed in protest as I stood dizzily. It was only my head but it was affecting the rest of me making me feel sick to my stomach. I leaned against the wall. I would find her and force the words out. I just wanted to see her happy see her smiling. To watch her face go from a smile to a frown was like seeing your entire family slaughtered in front of you. Except it was so much worse than that. It was tragic.

My brain refused to send the right signals. While the sentimental part of me agreed I needed to find Rachel and tell her that I was okay and that I just needed to see her smile again. The part that controlled my body was like no you're going to fall over right now. I did. I fell over, struggled to get up, took a step, fell over again. I'd made it maybe three feet and was in the falling down part of the cycle when Rachel and some medic showed up.

"Octavian!" My head pounded and wailed and I was still trying to get back up when she ran up. I could only look up at her, look into her eyes, and hope that mine conveyed the message I couldn't speak.

I wasn't stronger than myself. I was only weak. I would only ever be weak. I couldn't tell her now how much I loved her and how much I just wanted to see her smile. That's all I've ever wanted...

please Rachel. Please...

"please..." The word slipped out before my tongue tied up again. She looked at me, so scared, so confused, and we began to cry at the same instance, just for completely different reasons.


	25. Chapter 25

**Rachel's POV:**

When I saw him on the floor, crying, I couldn't help but to cry as well.

I needed him to be better. Last night, he only managed a few words out, now he can't even say 'Hello'!

I picked him up with the help of Cory (a son of Apollo who was about to leave the Infirmary) and placed him in the bed.

"You're gonna be OK" I reassured him, stroking his hair off his forehead. Cody started to examine him, making him a little uncomfortable "Eyes on me, Ian..." I told him. He turned to me with those blue eyes I love so much and I saw a lot of suffering, of pain, of regret. I was still crying because I was worried about him, but I managed to offer him a smile in reassurance. That made him relax a little.

All he wanted was to see me smile...

"I'm done, Rachel" Cody announced, pulling his clothes down. I nodded and glanced at him, who was making me a gesture to walk outside the cave.

"I won't be long, OK?" I promised him, giving him a smile "You'll be OK... I promise" I leaned in and pecked his lips, lingering them at the end "I love you" I whispered to him. He smiled weakly at me and mouthed 'I love you' back. I got up from the bed and followed Cody outside "Don't spare me the details" I advised him.

"Besides the fact he's skinny and has no muscles and he was suppose to be dead two weeks ago, I'd say he's fine..."

"But, he's not fine, Cody!" I hissed at him "He barely eats and he can't talk anymore! It's like he can't anymore..."

"I don't know what to tell you, Rachel" Cody admits, looking kid of scared at my attitude. Good... "He's healthy, but sounds like his brain is still a baby-"

"A baby..." I cut him, repeating the last words he said. Of course! That makes total sense! "Thanks, Cody... I'll let you know if something comes up" Cody nodded and walked away from the cave. I couldn't walk into the cave now. I collapsed to the floor and pulled my knees next to my chest. I couldn't cry, I wasn't gonna cry. I just needed a way to help him. After a few sighs and deep breaths, I got up and walked back inside. Octavian was staring at the ceiling, with a frown in his face. I quietly got closer to my desk and pulled out a pencil and a pad "Ian?" I called him, softly. He turned to me, relaxing when he saw me smiling "I know you don't wanna worry me, so here you have this to communicate with me" Octavian quickly picked the pad and pencil and started to write down furiously. I waited patiently until r was done.

'I was upset because I wanted to see you smile. I've seen a lot of things when I was in the Legion and I've seen a lot of soulless people in the Underworld, but I live for your smile. When you frown... that only was compared with watching a massacre... That bad... I love you and that's why I want you to smile...'

And Apollo thinks his poetry is good...

Some tears started to run down my cheeks, but my smile never faltered. It was there, along with the blush in my cheeks.

"You sure are a Legacy of Apollo" I complemented him, laughing a little and hugging him tight. It took him a while to hug me back, but he did it in the end "Rest, I'll be here all day..." I kissed his cheek and leaned on his chest.

~oOo~

It was late at night when I finally let go of Octavian. He was fast asleep, with his arms still wrapped around me. I didn't mind at all, but I needed to do something. Something highly important.

I got up and headed to my desk, pulling out a new pad and I started to write. I didn't know if it was gonna be a goodbye letter or a warning letter. All I knew is that I had to try any way that I could think about it to save Octavian. My Octavian.

When I finished, I folded the letter and placed it on Augustus' necklace, that I placed next to him. I tiptoed outside the cave and I ran towards the cabins again. I didn't care about the harpies, this was a 'life-death' situation.

"Nico di Angelo, get up from bed in this instant!" I ordered to him, opening the cabin's door without knocking or waiting for an invitation. It was kind of worthy, when I saw him jumped and fell from his bed. That made me crack a smile.

"Rachel, what the Hell?!" he shouted at me. I didn't care, nothing else mattered to me "You have a death wish?!"

"Kind of" I admitted, crossing my arms "Get up, I need that Will takes a look at you before leaving!" That only made him look at me with a strange look.

"Leaving? Leaving where?"

"To see tour Father" Nico's eyes widen open in fear.

"To the Underworld?! Rachel, are you insane?!" I was slowly losing my patience.

"Does it matter?!" I snapped at him "I wanna see your Father!"

"Rachel, those who visit the Underworld don't ever come back fully!" he warned me.

"I'm aware of it"

"I don't understand it... Why?!"

"Because I'm the only one who is willing to do something for Octavian's life... Even if that leads me to my death..."


	26. Chapter 26

**Octavian's POV:**

I had that dream again. The one where Rachel turns into a rag doll and I have to cut her open. Where she DIES and its MY fault.

I woke up fearing it was true. I looked around and saw a letter. I grabbed at it. My hands trembled as I read. She had left. Said it wasn't her fault she was just trying to help. And maybe she wouldn't come back. Maybe... Maybe... maybe maybe maybe

NO!

No... She had to come back I was fine really actually fine... I I would have been fine but now... RACHEL IS OUT THERE DOING SOMETHING STUPID AND SHE MAY NEVER COME BACK SHE WROTE THAT SHE MIGHT NOT COME BACK.

She said that se loves me so much and thats why she left but I love her too and I can't bear the though of losing her what even is anything... I'm just so... I'm torn up.

I'm perfectly fine. I was perfectly fine okay I wasn't but my head was was was fine I woke up this morning and I WAS FINE.

And then I read her little letter. And now it physically hurts to exist.

My hands tremble and shake. My eyes blur with tears. I scream for Rachel. I scream and moan. I close my eyes and see her dying to protect me. I understand that she is doing this for me but... But...

But I would do the same thing if the situation was reversed. But since it isn't reversed I think its a bad idea... I don't want her suffering...

I run through camp. I'm dressed, mostly... I might have forgotten pants but I'm wearing underwear I swear. I care not that I look like a mad man. I AM a mad man... I'm going crazy over thoughts of losing Rachel.

"PERCY! WHERE'S RACHEL?!" I'm crying, begging him for answers. I must look insane but I don't care.

"Octavian... Why?"

"Where's Rachel? She disappeared she said she was getting help for me she said... she said she might not come back if you know where she is please I need to know I need to go after her help me please... Rachel..." I know why I can talk now and I couldn't other times. Because I'm so crazy in love with her my brain doesn't let me fail now I have to know where she is I have to stop her before she does something stupid.

I'm not good enough to be died for! I'm not special! I'll be okay... I just need her... I'm close to hyperventilating .

"Octavian you're not wearing pants."

"I DON'T CARE! TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!"

"I didn't even know she was gone I swear!" Percy said, looking almost scared.

"Octavian you need help and I can't give it to you. Do you need to go lie down in the infirmary?"

"I NEED TO FIND RACHEL."

"SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN. THERE IS _NOTHING_ YOU CAN DO. If Rachel is gone then her mind is made up and you're not finding her anytime soon. So just calm down and deal with it." He yelled at me. I shrank back, shaking with rage and fear. Tears tugged at my eyes.

"Please... I don't want to lose her... I just got her... She's my hope... please..."

"I'm sorry." He shut the door on me. I started towards the pine tree. I walked out of Camp Half Blood in just a t-shirt and boxers and crying because I had lost the only girl I would ever love because she loved me too much not to do something.

I was mad at her. I hated her so much that I was sobbing over losing her. It just hurt so much... Like she'd left a hold in my heart. Like she'd just gone and taken my heart. Like she'd taken me. My soul and spirit and will to live all gone with Rachel Elizabeth Dare.


	27. Chapter 27

**Rachel's POV:**

It hurts.

It literally hurts to be away from Octavian.

I don't care for the pain right now, as Nico is leaning against a wall of his Father's place, because the shadow-traveling was too much energy-consumed. I know I should had suggested going through Central Park or Los Angeles, but I didn't want to waste time, that I'd probably waste arguing and begging with the Lord of the Underwold.

"Thanks, Nico" I thanked him, when he got up.

"Yeah, well... Try that the negotiation last the time of a cat nap, because I won't be taking you back in this instant" he advised me. I nodded, knowing he was my only ticket out. Nico guided me through the palace and he stopped at the door of the Throne Room.

"Should I knock? Or should I barge in?" I wondered, mostly to myself, but I could use Nico's opinion.

"If that was me, I'd barge in... But that's because Persephone can't stand me" he admitted. I nodded again and decided my choice. I quickly hugged Nico before he left to his room and I took a deep breath.

I barged in.

"Lord Hades!" I called, making me hear through the hall. A bunch of skeletons with different uniforms and weapons came to me, with the intention of stop me.

"What is the meaning of this?!" A female voice was heard and I knew there and then, I was being greeted by Persephone, Queen of the Underworld. And, according to Percy, Nico or Thalia, a real and gigantic pain in the schist. I won't curse, she doesn't deserve it "Who are you, mortal?!"

"I demand to see Lord Hades" I repeated his name like a mantra. I came to see him and talk to him only. If someone else wanted to be present, that was not my problem.

"I asked you a question, mortal!" Looks like Persephone is not used to being ignored. Or, at least, respected.

"All my answer will be deliver to Lord Hades" It was like if I was some kind of soldier when capture. Repeating information that is not useful to the captor over and over again.

"Someone wants to see me? That's a first!" A male voice joined us, taking the shape of Hades. I relaxed a little bit, but I couldn't much since I was surrounded by skeletons "Ah, the Oracle of Delphi..." he greeted me, smirking. His smirk resemble more of an evil smile than anything, but I'm sure it's not his fault being this creepy, right? "What can I do for you, mortal?"

Why everyone think the word 'mortal' is an insult?!

"Lord Hades, if you may..." I gestured the skeleton soldier that weren't leaving my side. Hades rolled his eyes, but dismissed the skeletons back to their usual spots "I'm here for information... and a possible cure"

"What are you talking about?" Persephone butted in. I ignored her and focused on Hades, who I was kneeled in front of.

"One- one of your souls that escaped the Underworld..." I began, completely afraid this will backfire for me "...I- I had the chance to meet him and-"

"Let me guess, you want him to still live, don't you?" Persephone owed the conversation again. I was shocked at how much Hades will allow his wife to step on him, but I kept quiet.

"The soul of the dead belong to the Underworld, not Zeus' realm" Hades emphasized. I nodded, breathing again.

"Sir, if I may say this... Do you understand that all of the souls that live above, in one way or another, will be yours eventually?" I pointed it out, being polite and respectful. Hades studied me for a few seconds, before nodding to continue "This soul, I don't care how he found a way back to the living, but it seems like his brain is not adapting to the body... I believe is a consequence of being dead..."

"And you wish to save him?" Hades questioned me. I nodded, still with my head down "It doesn't work like this, are you aware of that?" I nodded again.

"I'm willing to sacrifice my own life for him..." I admitted, a lone tear running down my cheek. I'm never seen him again... "If that's the price to pay..."

"But, as you pointed out, one way or another, I'll have your soul..." I looked up, surprised of what I was hearing "Which means you'll have to give me something else in return..."

"And, what that will me?" I sounded hopeful. Maybe, I'd have to do a quest or something like it...

"Looks like Persephone here is jealous of your mortal beauty-" I frowned at this, looking down at myself: I was wearing tattered jeans and T-shirt, with paint all over it. My sneakers weren't better. My hair was a mess and I had to tied it up in a high ponytail "-so, that's what I'll ask in return"

"My- my beauty?" I checked, not sure I heard right. Hades nodded, drumming his fingers on his throne. Inside my head was the ultimate question. What is Octavian doesn't like me anymore, because I'm ugly? No! That doesn't matter to him! "How does that work?"

"Well, you simply have to give me your beauty" Persephone spoke up. Gods, conceded much? "Then, once Hades' spawn-"

"Persephone, I forbid you to speak like that" Hades interrupted her, in a warning tone.

"Once, he wakes up, you'll leave"

"That's it?" I saw them nodding, both with smirks in their faces. I didn't like it, but I had to do it "And you'll stop trying to claim his soul? Swear it on the Styx" I added when Hades opened his mouth.

"I swear on the Styx that I won't be after the soul you're trying to save until you two grow up to an advance age" I sighed, more relaxed.

"Then, Queen Persephone, my beauty is yours"


	28. Chapter 28

**Octavian's POV:**

I don't know. Somewhere it clicks. My thoughts fully form and I turn around and walk back to camp. I go back to the cave pull on pants and sit on her bed and pout. I'm very good at pouting.

"Rachel you better come home or I'm going to kill you..." I muttered. I was angry. Furious at her for doing something so dumb. I read her letter over and over. Tears sting my eyes when I get to the part of her not coming back. Whatever she did worked I'm okay I'm fine but I don't want to be fine I want to be with Rachel! I just want to swee her again. See her smile... I love her smile... Its my sunshine.

I'm lying in her bed covered in her clothes smelling them like a weird obsessed stalker and crying my eyes out when I hear her come in. Its been about a day. I know I put her through so much worse but... For Olympus' sake I'm so MAD at her.

"RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE HOW COULD YOU I'M SO ANGRY I WAS SO SCARED COME HERE AND HUG ME AT ONCE." She looks hesitant, scared. I wonder if my yelling scared her. She's not smiling, so my heart feels like its breaking.

"You're better," She said, stepping over.

"You're alive. What happened? What did you do?"

"I... I traded my beauty for your wellbeing. Do you still love me? Even though I'm ugly?" She asked, sounding close to tears. I looked at her. I stared at her.

"Ugly? Ugly? Rachel you're still stunning. You're still beautiful... You will never be ugly to me." I pulled her close to me and kissed all over her face.

"There is no one more beautiful than you."

No one else saw it that way though.

People snickered and laughed, and pointed. She'd duck her head, blush and frown. Hurt occupied the eyes that only I could see were beautiful. They truly were beautiful to me. I'd try to distract her from the mean things they said. We would listen to music. I would ask her to draw for me. I tried to compliment her consistently. I just wanted to make her smile. When she was smiling I knew that the hurt couldn't get to her. And I knew when she faked a smile. When she faked a smile I would fake one right back at her, make her realize I knew when she was hiding.

These days I saw the fake smile a lot more. It made me uneasy. I was fine, I thought. That's what she had wanted. And all I wanted was her to be fine as well.

So what was wrong with my Rachel?


	29. Chapter 29

**Rachel's POV:**

For the first time in years, I was scared.

Not because of the world, though it could be very brutal when it wants. Not because of the people, though they also can be cruel, like the world. Not about the different supernatural creatures that walk around this world, trying to eat half-bloods and stuff. Not about the vision that could give me several sleepless nights with nightmares included.

I was scared of facing a mirror.

Once my deal with Hades and Persephone was done, I'll admit I didn't feel different. I didn't feel lighter or heavier or anything. I remember Persephone smirking in my direction, while Hades was a statue of emotionless. I remembered shrugging the feeling off and bowing and leaving.

Nico was the first one to give me an actual reaction.

His eyes widen a little bit and his mouth hung for a few seconds, before showing me the same expressionless face that his Father gave me. I didn't miss the way he let go of my wrist when we arrived to CHB.

Mr. D was the second one in giving me opinion. Though, unlike Nico, he didn't kept quiet.

Him and Chiron were waiting for me, apparently, Octavian had drove the entire Camp upside down because I was missing (I seriously wanted to laugh when they told me he was without pants). I remembered Chiron's smile, knowing I sacrificed something and this was the rest of my life. Mr. D, however, wasn't that subtle.

"Heaven's above, Chiron! Is that the Olympians have no taste anymore for women?! Where did they picked her parent?! Highly stoned in a party?!"

Not gonna lie, that hurt.

As I walked to the cave, I could noticed the shock, the snickers, the mumbling, the rumours and the award-winning smirks of my appearance. I held my head up high, though, it was hard.

I was expecting Octavian to yell at me. I was expecting to defend my point of view on why I did what I did. I was expecting running away from the cave, hearing the taunts of people and hide in the woods until the night, when I'd beg Will to let me sleep in his cabin.

What I didn't expect was a welcome.

Octavian doesn't know, but every taunt is breaking me inside. For some unknown reason, my appearance was something that highly amused everyone. I'll admit that I haven't seen my closest friends laughing at me, yet. Probably, because I haven't seen them in days. I was confined, by own choice, inside my cave. I didn't want to go out. The cave was my safe heaven.

Away from everyone.

I was slowly detaching from Octavian. I became more quiet, I wouldn't joke around or even to paint anymore. I knew I should work on letting him know that I still care, that I still love him, that I always will, but... it's hard when you don't have the confidence to keep him at my side.

This morning, I reached my breaking point.

I woke up, with Octavian's arms wrapped around me. I couldn't go to sleep without that feeling anymore. The only times I could smile honestly, where those moment where I wasn't thinking about anything. Where those moment when I wake up and the first thing I see is his face, sleeping peacefully next to me. I know I've been fake smiling to him, but I really didn't want him to see how broken I became.

Feeling the need of using the bathroom, I began to untangle from him, placing a kiss in his forehead, before my feet touch the ground and get up from bed. I stretched and, it was then, when I noticed a shiny object at the entrance of the cave. I gotta get a curtain as a door... I went picking it up, thinking that maybe, I didn,t put everything in place last night. But, it didn't belong to me.

It was a mirror.

The design itself was pretty. It had a handle and the edges were decorated with roses. In a way, it reminded me to the mirror of The Beauty & The Beast, my favourite movie of all times. I didn't look myself at the mirror, because I was more interested in the note that was attached to it:

"In movies, mirrors break under true ugliness... Why don't you give it a shot?"

My eyes began to water and I tossed the mirror onto the floor, not caring about how much noise I was making. I ran into the bathroom and I locked myself in there, curling up in the floor, against the bathtub. When people will see that words hurt the most?! I wailed my eyes out, not keeping out my hurt and pain.

Knocks where heard outside the door, but I couldn't make out the words or who the voice belonged to. I was to concentrate in my own selfpity party that I wanted to be alone. But that was it, right? I could never be truly alone again.

I didn't want to take my life out. That was too much of a coward. But, I did made an irrational decision: I wiped my tears (or all I could) and got up, grabbing the first thing I found out, that turned out to be a shampoo bottle. In the angle I was standing, I couldn't see myself in the bathroom mirror, nor I was ready to see myself. With all the anger I could mustered, I threw the shampoo bottle against the mirror, creating cracks on it. It didn't broke, but I, at least, could not see myself like I was suppose too.

People do crazy thing for love, right?

Then, why giving away my beauty is different from anything else?

Why I should be the target of mocking and taunting because I was selfless enough to sacrifice it?

When I opened the door, I didn't stand there, thinking about how I woke up Octavian and how desperate he was. I launched into his arms and cried, hiding my face in his chest.

So much for being a heroine...


	30. Chapter 30

**Octavian's POV:**

After holding her and comforting her and telling her she's the most beautiful girl in the world I did what any good boyfriend would. I got her a puppy. I got her the cutest fluffiest Saint Bernard puppy I could fine. House trained, bought food, Named it Eevee and brought it home.

Rachel fell in love with it immediately. So did I, to be honest. It was amazing. We spent the day laughing and playing with it. Eevee lifted a load off of Rachel's shoulders and helped her stress melt away. She was happy in a way she hadn't been since she came back and that made me happy in a way I hadn't been in since Rachel stopped smiling. I liked watching her laugh and smile and play with Eevee. It was like Rachel, Eevee, and I were our own little family and what other campers thought about how Rachel looked or how I acted... Does that really matter? Nope. Not one little bit.

The days flew by. We were happy, we were madly in love. Some of the demigods still treated Rachel with respect, her friends like Annabeth and Piper, yeah and even Percy. They'd swing by, talk to Rachel, play with Eevee... People started warming up to me. It was nice. It felt like home. It was home. Every day that passed was beginning to feel more and more like home. I think I love it here. I think I like it more then Camp Jupiter. I think I was an idiot before, hating greeks, trying to gain power and respect, neither of which I deserved back then.

Now that I have Rachel, my eyes have opened. I see people as people instead of just soldiers, enemies, and idiots. Everyone is so much more than that.

I died because I deserved it. I really did.

But I came back because I also deserved a chance to be better than Octavian Version 1.0. And Rachel saw that. Rachel saw that right away. Even when she was still looking into my eyes like she knew what evil was held inside of them. But she knew that that evil didn't have to be inside of me.

So she fixed me. Made me better.

Octavian 2.0. A newer, nicer model, that comes with an Oracle who is beautiful no matter what she thinks about herself and a puppy who is almost as cute as the previous mentioned Oracle.

This is my family.

These are my friends.

I've found my home.

And Love **_isn't_** impossible.

* * *

 **I love this story! I know my chapters are short but I think they contain exactly what Octavian needs to say.**


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